I woke up this morning thinking of pastor’s wives, of how challenging that job might be, and feeling rather grateful I am not one. I am married to a roofer. All in good fun here, but when one is married to a roofer, nobody expects much from you.
Let me tell you, it’s a good thing I am not a pastor’s wife because I think I would just descend in to my irreverent humor and perpetual sarcasm and really make a mess of everything.
There are two things that make me crazy about being married, one is other people projecting their expectations onto you and the other one is being the designated complaint department.
I encounter these two things once in a blue moon. Expectations are like, either frowning disapproval over something I have done or not done, or else the assumption that I am available 24/7 so if I ever say “no” it must be because I am just mean. You can just give everyone a ride, watch their kids, stop at the store for them…you’re going there anyway. Setting boundaries can be hard, people can get cranky when you aren’t unconditionally available at all times.
Then there are the stupid questions around expectations, status, and control. Why is there a transmission laying in your front yard? Well, obviously I drug it home because I wanted a lawn ornament. Are you ever going to get rid of that piece of junk? No, I like it there, it’s called yard art.
Are you ready for Christmas? Does it really matter? Is it actually going to wait for me?
You can see my problem, how to win friends and influence people is not on the top of my list of priorities. I suspect that pastor’s wives do not really have the freedom to indulge in endless sarcasm, forever lamenting the nature of people.
Being the perpetual complaint department is another issue. Sometimes I will go to the gas station and someone will say, “I saw your husband this morning he wasn’t in a very good mood. What’s wrong with him?” Well I don’t know, he was quite nice to me this morning. Maybe it’s you he doesn’t like?
My least favorite is the sad and pitying looks, “how’s your kid doing?” My husband says my eyes turn green and my smile is so cold it scares him. My kids are just fine,but if they weren’t, do you really think pity somehow resembles encouragement?
Now amplify all these issues ten times over and I imagine those are some of the things Pastor’s wives have to deal with all the time. Keep them in your prayers, will you? Let’s lift them up and encourage them today.
gmgoetz said:
And that is only one part of a Pastor’s wife’s “life. In many churches, she is expected to play the piano, teach Sunday School. Be ready to fill in for another teacher who cannot make it to Sunday School. As well, be in control of lunches for the after funeral gatherings. Lead a lady’s Bible Study. Pray 24/7 for the congregation. Visit the sick. And be dressed up all the time at home for visitors from church who drop in to unload all the troubles and baggage.
Oh. And raise perfect sons and daughters.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Lol! I think you may be right. Sounds absolutely overwhelming, doesn’t it?
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Shattered in Him said:
I am married to a master plumber and all I worry about are the off-hours phone calls or people wanting him to do plumbing for them on his days off. I don’t know if I could be ‘on point’ on a regular basis with an audience paying attention and ready to criticize at the slightest perceived ‘wrong’. I would mess it up, too!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Oh, I hear you. We used to run 24 hr crisis line. Not really, but that’s what I called it. Sometimes people just start worrying about the roof at 1 am.
Cool you married a plumber. 🙂
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Julie Sheppard aka Reiko Chinen said:
Good post. I though about the same subject a while back and interviewed my pastors wife. Which I posted here, she was also the subject of another post “Please help” when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which I am am thankful to give praise that her last doctors appointment was cancer free. Thank you for bringing attention to these wonderful women. God bless you.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! So pleased to hear she is cancer free.
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ColorStorm said:
‘I am married to a roofer.’ You mean the salt of the earth?
Oh how we take for granted the benefits of a good roof above all… 😉
There is much pastor work done on the job by good men, quiet, out of the way, unassuming but powerful. But good post msbytes.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Lol! I really did marry the salt of the earth. He’s not just a good roofer, he’s a good man in general. Those are the kind of guys who built this country, so feeling much blessed by them all.
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Opinionated Man said:
You might enjoy this recent post! 🙂 https://aopinionatedman.com/2016/12/16/that-body-isnt-yours/
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! Awesome,OM. You’re always good at getting people all fired up! That’s a good thing, it’s blasted cold outside. 🙂
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Opinionated Man said:
Heh I wasn’t even trying. This is common sense. 🤔😄
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Jessee carter said:
They all do need our prayers. Pastors have to attend countless meetings; funerals and hospital visits as well and you can only imagine how quick a pastor can become drained and relying on not just God but their wife as well. Great post.
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SLIMJIM said:
Wow this is a good post. I think the toughest job for a Pastor’s family is that of the Pastor’s wife. I say this from my own marriage as a Pastor.
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