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I woke up this morning thinking of pastor’s wives, of how challenging that job might be, and feeling rather grateful I am not one. I am married to a roofer. All in good fun here, but when one is married to a roofer, nobody expects much from you.

Let me tell you, it’s a good thing I am not a pastor’s wife because I think I would just descend in to my irreverent humor and perpetual sarcasm and really make a mess of everything.

There are two things that make me crazy about being married, one is other people projecting their expectations onto you and the other one is being the designated complaint department.

I encounter these two things once in a blue moon.  Expectations are like, either frowning disapproval over something I have done or not done, or else the assumption that I am available 24/7 so if I ever say “no” it must be because I am just mean. You can just give everyone a ride, watch their kids, stop at the store for them…you’re going there anyway. Setting boundaries can be hard, people can get cranky when you aren’t unconditionally available at all times.

Then there are the stupid questions around expectations, status, and control. Why is there a transmission laying in your front yard? Well, obviously I drug it home because I wanted a lawn ornament. Are you ever going to get rid of that piece of junk? No, I like it there, it’s called yard art.

Are you ready for Christmas? Does it really matter? Is it actually going to wait for me?

You can see my problem, how to win friends and influence people is not on the top of my list of priorities.  I suspect that pastor’s wives do not really have the freedom to indulge in endless sarcasm, forever lamenting the nature of people.

Being the perpetual complaint department is another issue. Sometimes I will go to the gas station and someone will say, “I saw your husband this morning he wasn’t in a very good mood. What’s wrong with him?” Well I don’t know, he was quite nice to me this morning. Maybe it’s you he doesn’t like?

My least favorite is the sad and pitying looks, “how’s your kid doing?” My husband says my eyes turn green and my smile is so cold it scares him. My kids are just fine,but if they weren’t, do you really think pity somehow resembles encouragement?

Now amplify all these issues ten times over and I imagine those are some of the things Pastor’s wives have to deal with all the time. Keep them in your prayers, will you? Let’s lift them up and encourage them today.

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