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For of those who have unfriended me on facebook, sheesh. Get a life.

I am not leaving the country no matter who wins the election. As much as I’d like to imagine myself a fancy, smancy Hollywood actress, threatening to take her dollies and go home, the only chance I have of escape is in a shipping container.

I rather like the romance of smuggling myself away in a shipping container for ports unknown, but there is always the problem of insufficient oxygen and arriving in some place far worse than this…

In fact, not only am I not leaving the country, it’s unlikely I’ll ever leave this town. My husband is a stand your ground, the Captain goes down with the ship, kind of guy. I missed that part when I got married and now I’m stuck here in the 9th circuit of hell.

It took me five years to convince him to move 15 miles away from the hospital he was born in. I had to sell him on the idea that we were not surrendering…..or immigrating.

For those Christians in a panic, read the instruction manual. Lord, we live in a democracy dominated by believers with a system of checks and balances within our government……said absolutely no biblical character, ever.

For the media who interrupted my program to bring me breaking news, people are actually voting today, puh-lease. Like when did that start? Stop acting so surprised, so concerned, and stop letting your sentences trail off as if you don’t quite know what to make of it. I mean seriously,that’s some bad acting and some false melodrama.

Maybe the media should take their dollies and go home. I think they need a juice box and a nap.