I am a bit perturbed, having read no less than six articles with that very same title, “women always lie.” Well of course women lie, women are actually people. We all lie, or most of us anyway. But always?
There are two stereotypes about women that persist in the modern world, that have probably persisted since ancient times, this idea that women are crazy and that women always lie. We are allegedly deceitful, deceptive, full of trickery.
It’s somewhat easy to see the origins of these two hurtful perceptions. If you don’t understand what is motivating women, what is fueling our emotions our feelings, we can certainly look crazy. Sometimes we even do crazy things that defy all reason. We are actually not crazy, there is often a rhyme and reason to how and why women respond to certain things the way we do.
The stereotype of deception has sprung forth from women not having much power in the world, our influence through the ages has often required a more passive aggressive approach. It can appear sly, devious, manipulative. Men have traditionally been the shakers and movers in the world, and women are actually designed to influence them.
I jest a bit here, but go read Genesis, God Himself said, “it is not good for the man to be alone.” Influence him, hopefully positively. Most of us are not direct and confrontational about it or we would have just spent the last few thousand years punching men in the nose. That’s not the kind of influence women tend to exercise. For the most part.
So these stereotypes are understandable in the sense that they have an origin to them, but they are still inaccurate and often hurtful and damaging.
I have been the mom staring at the doctor while everything he does and says just screams, hysterical mother, overwrought, perceiving reality wrong, doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. She’s lying. She’s crazy.
I’ve been that woman who calls 911 and has to go through endless interrogation. We once had a guy go crazy in an apartment building and he was tearing the place up with an axe. So the operator was instantly doubtful, what makes you think he has an axe? What is he doing specifically that might be a problem? And my personal favorite, is he bothering anyone? Always with those endless reminders about how you’re just going to have to calm down so I can ascertain you’re not the crazy one. In the 30 minutes it took for help to arrive, that guy demolished half a dozen doors, a plate-glass window, and miles of drywall.
I’ve been that woman telling the truth with a dozen other women and yet the truth is not convenient, the truth is not what people want to hear right now. Obviously you are all perceiving reality wrong. Every last one of you.
I grew up believing in Jesus Christ in the midst of some pretty dedicated atheists. I know all about what it is like to be perceived as deceived, deceptive, and crazy.
Not being believed can be painful, triggering stuff, and it is a given for many women, it is practically the state of our being. Not being believed, not being heard, tends to permeate many women’s existence. There is not a lot of grace extended to women there, either. Even if we are wrong in how we are perceiving something, rather than recognizing that, we are often simply maligned, accused of having bad intentions, labeled crazy, dismissed.
Peter is one of my favorite biblical characters, partially because I am a bit like Peter, but what truly makes me love Peter is that he was the only disciple that listened to the women, at the foot of the cross, at the empty tomb. In Luke 24 the women come back to report the empty tomb and we have “It was Mary Magdalene, and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and other women that were with them, which told these things unto the apostles.”
And their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.
Think about how profound that is. Jesus Christ Himself told the disciples what was going to happen. They already knew. God said! It was also prophesied through the ages. The Creator of the universe said it would happen and you don’t get a more reliable witness than Him, yet when the women return from the empty tomb,
“And their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.”
One can empathize there, it is a wild tale, easily labeled an “idle tale,” and the disciples are wallowing in grief, and the women are probably thoroughly rattled and somewhat emotional. I can empathize, I can forgive, but just the same, “and they believed them not,” really rankles.
All except Peter, that is. Three of my favorite words are, “Then arose Peter….”
“Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass.”
God bless Peter for rising to the occasion, for listening to the women, for having the courage to be “wondering in himself at that which has come to pass.” God bless Peter for not dismissing the women as crazy, deceitful, and full of idle tales.
“Then arose Peter….” What a blessing those words still are today. Whenever I start to sense that spirit of “she’s lying, she’s crazy,” I always hear those 3 words in my mind, “Then arose Peter.” Peter believed them enough to go check it out.
The women were NOT lying. Neither was Eve. Neither was the woman at the well, nor the adulterous woman about to be stoned, nor the woman with the issue of blood, nor was Mary, the mother of Jesus. Something I find quite amazing about the bible, the very Divinity of Christ is always linked to a woman and whether or not her testimony about what she has witnessed is going to carry water. Carry Living Water.
So, if you are a Christian writing something containing the words, “women always lie,” I beg you to reconsider and to remember that the very Divinity of the One you follow is directly tied to the general truthfulness of women. That’s His testimony, not mine, and it’s all carefully preserved in His word.