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blogging, faith, internet culture, marriage, Proverbs 31, women
I admit to being rather innocent here, living in a bubble even, as in I had no idea how much abuse has been heaped on women, continues to be heaped on women, by misapplication of the Proverbs 31 wife. I was blissfully unaware that woman was ever used as a sword to hiss and spit virtue all over women, always with this idea that you are not good enough, not worthy, you fall short. Bad woman.
Wowsers, I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. I’ve now seen it quite enough, thank you very much. It’s all over the internet, some really appalling things, and I feel compelled to apologize. If you have ever been hurt by false teachings about the Proverbs 31 wife, I am so sorry. You did not deserve that.
People may not know this, but in ancient Jewish times, husbands used to sing that passage to their wives, to honor them, to pay tribute to them. Those words were not designed to shame us or make us feel inadequate, they were words of love, affection, and adoration. Like all words of love, there is a bit of hyperbole in there, we are honoring mom here, and the woman is a saint. Of course she is just a human woman, but she’s mom, if you understand what I am saying, so basically superwoman. She is romance wrapped in idealism.
Something else seldom said, Proverbs is thought to have been written by Solomon whose father was King David and whose mother was Bathsheba. These words are actually the words of Bathsheba, “the prophecy that his mother taught him,” Bathsheba who once bathed naked on the roof top and caught King David’s fancy. We have no idea how interested Bathsheba was in actually having a relationship with King David, we just know he was the King and that he sent her husband to his death.
The point is, as far as we know Bathsheba is the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, a woman who once bathed naked on a roof top, whose husband was murdered, and who went on to give birth to Solomon. Solomon, thought to be the wisest man to have ever lived, credits his mother and pays tribute to her many virtues in these passages.
People who try to tie the tale of the crafty harlot in Proverbs 7:6-27 to the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31, and use them as an indictment against all of womankind annoy the heck out of me. Proverbs is not a judgement against women. That is a misreading and misunderstanding of scripture, one that takes those passages out of context and attempts to use them as a weapon to try to beat women over the head with.
These are the words of Bathsheba, a mom trying to steer her son towards wisdom. The crafty harlot is just a parable, a soliloquy about the vulnerability of men.
“The prophecy that his mother taught him.” Prophecy, a predication, a forcast, a peek into the future. Prophecy as in, my son, this shall be your downfall. Sure enough, King Solomon, in spite of all his wisdom, went on to have a thousand wives and concubines, many of them foreign princesses who worshipped other gods.
Our virtuous woman does indeed have worth and value above rubies and great wisdom, and incredible grace, the kind of grace that makes it possible for you to survive the murder of your husband, the death of your baby, the powerlessness of your position in a world run by men, and to figure out how to make the best of it all. She is every woman, she is realistic, attainable, human, and she has genuine power and influence in the world. She “opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
She is not sexual purity or handmade clothes, nor is she rising at 4am for a life of endless servitude, she is the essence and strength of women throughout the ages, women who have risen to the challenge of impossible circumstances, determined to bring some beauty to them.
Virtue, the original translation of the Virtuous Woman was actually “valour.” She was a Woman of Valour, meaning courageous, audacious, and bold.
God took Bathsheba, who once bathed naked on a rooftop, and made her into the Proverbs 31 woman, not to tear us down, but to honor and recognize the valour and courage of women.
Hundreds of thousands of Jewish men have known that all along.
ColorStorm said:
Unreal. You won’t believe this. Then again you will if I say to you I am telling you the truth. I am.
Just the other day I was considering doing a write up on Proverbs 31…. as a tribute to women in general, and virtuous women in particular. I had a rather different point of view in mind, along the lines of what you did here, but now it appears my efforts will be dust in the wind. 😉
Love your approach here msbytes and the idea that David’s wife inspired such a great addition to scripture. I do agree, goodness and valor can be seen in the most unassuming of ways, befitting of course as seen in God’s lack of encroachment toward humanity. His yoke is easy, and His fingerprints are seen thousands times ten thousands of ways; and the handiwork of females is testament to God Himself. (love that word thousands)
A good woman is irreplaceable, much to the chagrin of the gender neutral crowd. (sorry for that) But I think you nailed the essence of -31 by highlighting the spirit of the woman and not the letter. Your ninth chapter of this post here was just plain good. Well done.
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insanitybytes22 said:
What fun that you were thinking of her, too. I believe you, God has such lovely serendipity. Thanks for your encouraging words,too, they are much appreciated.
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Julie (aka Cookie) said:
Amen IB—one thing I’ve noticed, more so as of late as maybe I’m more attuned to such…but even the prophesies of God are being twisted and shaped by the PC police–misconstrued and turned woefully around..what was once, as you so beautifully remind us, that a song of love sung from a husband to his wife, his helpmate, his love is now to be considered shameful…shame on us for allowing that to have ever happened!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yes, good point. I have often wondered why we insist on making the beautiful things so dark and ugly. It’s downright biblical, as in I think we were told this would happen, but still it seems as if we are going full speed ahead sometimes.
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Julie (aka Cookie) said:
I’m currently reading The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn—one thing that has stood out to me as I near the end of the book, is the notion that, as prophesy, things are indeed proclaimed or told rather to the faithful..they are told to non believers as well it’s just that we tend to pay more attention…the thing is that it is to faithful who are to be the heralders as it were and yet we are failing to proclaim–for whatever reason…complacency, apathy, diversions…we, the faithful must do a better job letting the PC police and the world know the truth—as you have done today—that what was originally beautiful is being tarnished by a world gone a rye
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Karen Van Benschoten said:
I know that story well, about King David, and Bathsheba, and his sending his son to the front lines, so that he would be killed, leaving Bathsheba a widow, thus allowing David to satisfy his lustfulness. I actually used to play song on my guitar, about that very same story. But as for myself, I do nothing to try and help myself. I just sit here, isolated in my apartment, existing but not living a life of any sort.
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ColorStorm said:
Hi Karen-
I’m ‘liking’ you comment not because I am happy for you in this, but because you have revealed something of utmost honesty, and that in itself has rare value. Look up.The storms of life are always followed by beautiful blue skies.
Maybe you can think of a new song? Not forgetting the old one, but adding to it?
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Karen Van Benschoten said:
I have a lot of songs to learn – Contemporary Christian, as well as The Beatles and Simon and Garfunkle and the list goes on…
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ah, Karen, I am so sorry you are lonely. You have a lovely story to share, one about perseverance and triumph. You deserve good things and lots of love. If I were nearby I’d be delighted to hang out with you.
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Karen Van Benschoten said:
Thanks. I don’t hang out with anyone these days.
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Clyde Herrin said:
The Bible doesn’t say Bathsheba was bathing on a roof. It says that David was on the roof when he saw her. It seems to me that she was probably in the courtyard of her house, completely surrounded by walls. It never occurred to her that someone might be looking at here from the roof of his house.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Good point. She may well have been in a courtyard and david being high up could see her. Although somewhere I read that our courtyards used to be on our roof and it was common to have a bath up there. I shall have to research ancient bathing habits some more and see what I come up with 🙂
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ColorStorm said:
@clyde and ib22
Without jumping too far into the weeds, you both may be correct. The text does not spell out she was on a roof, but there are tiered roofs under roofs, such as rooftop gardens etc, with of course the kings palaces being the highest.
It would appear odd to have a bathing area in plain sight on ground level. Most people who engage in any kind of public washing would I think, be aware of ‘windows above.’ Either way, a good catch.
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Salvageable said:
Well said. IB. Not just chapter 31, but the entire book of Proverbs contains traps that accuse and condemn. Who has met the high standards of the book of Proverbs? Only one man–Jesus Christ, Son of God, and (like Solomon) Son of David. When the rest of us try, on our own, to match the virtue described in any of the chapters in that book, we fail. Yet, through Christ, we are all declared righteous. Clothed in Christ, we all appear with that virtue. I rather agree with the early Christian writers who saw the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 as the Christian Church, the Bride of Christ, doing all things through Him who loves her. J.
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SLIMJIM said:
Wow good study. I’ll have to think about this some more concerning Solomon’s mother but what hope and encouragement it is if it is her! This makes it so amazing to think of God’s grace not only to save, but to sanctify!
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blooming shadow said:
Great post!
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trutherator said:
I’ve always considered Proverbs 31 to be a tribute to the “virtuous woman”, to motherhood. Jesus frees us from sin and guilt (and “guilt trips”) and feelings of condemnation, and from death and hell. He came not to condemn but to save and women can grow in him into such a woman.
This is also why the Bible has so many dandy bad examples that its great saints have been guilty of. They’re just like us, but God gets the glory! But keep filled with the Word!
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Rebecca LuElla Miller said:
For a long time I let the misuse of Proverbs 31 paint the passage in a negative color. It’s taken me a while to once again appreciate all that’s there. Then recently the husband of a friend of mine who just died of cancer stood in front of all those gathered at her memorial service and said he was in fact calling his wife blessed. He said lots else but closed with that thought. Yes!
The passage isn’t meant to be a yardstick by which we measure a woman’s Christian virtue. But it serves as an example that women have a powerful influence on our world, and those who are closest know just what that influence is.
Becky
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen, Becky, beautifully said.
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scatterwisdom said:
When you read the proverbs, it is supposed to goad you by prodding you to discern the message. Unfortunately, many are prodded to discern the meanings of proverbs to how they view the world.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Regards and goodwill blogging.
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