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Can we talk about Lundy Bancroft? The answer to that is apparently a resounding “no,” judging from the number of times people have slammed the door on me and locked me out of their comments. Christian women mostly.

Who in the heck is Lundy Bancroft, you may ask? Well, he’s this guy who has written several books about domestic violence and developed what I can only call a cultian following. A cultian following that is really starting to creep me out. I have the “uh oh” feeling.

The best way to shut me up about cultians is to simply talk to me about them. A bit of openness and transparency and it’s all good. When you block all questions, all criticisms of someone, and then proceed to make sure any potentially negative discussions about him are erased from the internet, all it does is serve to perk up my antennae and validate my concerns.

Come now, I question God himself, reverently and respectfully I might add, but still, if God himself is not threatened by my questioning His truths, why would a mere man be, especially an obscure book author?

I am not alone in my concerns! Every woman who posts something positive about Lundy Bancroft must also have some kind of “uh oh feeling” too, because they always post a disclaimer or a caveat. That’s a red flag, people! Trust your instincts. If the man you are praising is also the man you feel compelled to warn people about, we got an internal conflict going on inside. Listen to that, trust it. Drag it out into the sunlight and take a good look at it.

So, a cry for justice, the latest group I’ve encountered who holds Lundy Bancroft in high esteem, sure enough, does it almost defensively with that same characteristic disclaimer and caveat, this time, he is not a Christian and he suggests yoga and meditation. Your caveat is four paragraphs long, twice as long as your recommendation!  And true to form, you blocked my comment.

So, trust me, “yoga” is not the biggest threat here. I realize some Christians are concerned about yoga, but this is a bit like looking at an open fracture with some bones sticking out and instead deciding to focus on yesterday’s paper cut.

It’s not about the yoga. It’s about the way Lundy Bancroft has few or no credentials, a huge cult following, a dislike of the church, a blurred boundary in the way he speaks about women and sexual abuse victims, has no respect for marriage, the way he employs some psychological trickery in his writing, the way he knows how to tell women what they want to hear, the way he blames the church for abuse, and the way he quite frankly strikes me as someone out grooming potential victims.

He’s a salesman. Whenever you encounter a salesman, ask yourself what he’s selling and why he might be doing that. And if your spirit is telling you that you must duct tape the man’s “truths” together, issue endless caveats, and ban all dissenters, something is all wrong.