Tags
abuse, blogging, culture, faith, insanitybytes22, love, marriage, opinion, power and control
Dalrock again, promoting domestic violence, er rather, completely mangling the whole concept of headship, marriage, power and control, and hierarchies, in a post called hierarchies equal abuse. He is being sarcastic, as in he believes hierarchies don’t equal abuse at all, that people’s inherent issues around power and control are not a problem at all. Authority always loves you….
I was thinking of America, of how our government was designed, about how woven throughout was an understanding that absolute power corrupts absolutely. We have a system of checks and balances for a reason, 3 branches of government that are designed to keep one another in check. We don’t believe in the Divine right of kings, instead we have a president who must go through Congress, and a Congress that must get their legislation signed by a president, and a Supreme Court that is supposed to weigh things against our Constitution. We have a Bill of Rights that is designed to place the rights of the individual above the power of the State. We have the ability to petition our government for a redress of grievances. It’s a complex system, all revolving around the idea of balancing power and control.
However flawed and dysfunctional we may be, one thing that defines America is actually our recognition and understanding of the dynamics and the potential dangers of excessive power and control.
There’s an old-fashioned saying, “he who is under authority, has authority.” He who isn’t is just a tyrant. That is simply human nature, something our founding fathers understood immediately and sought to protect us from.
In the Christian faith, as in headship, as in our country, there is an understanding that we have certain inalienable rights endowed by our Creator. That is a critical piece of understanding because our rights are not bestowed upon us by government or by another person. They are endowed upon us by our Creator, which establishes the recognition of a Higher Power, a Higher Authority. Even those outside of faith understand the concept of inalienable rights, as in no human can take them away or give them away.
Government, faith, marriage, I tend to perceive everything through a lens of power and control, the harmony, the balance, the way it ebbs and flows. Government, marriage, faith these are all consensual relationships, as in one recognizes the authority there, the power that stems from within, rather than the power lorded over others.
It’s a shame that the Dalrockians are so closed-minded, so hostile, so obsessed with their own potential tyrannies, because Pastor Sam Powell whom they attack said something really quite beautiful, He said,
..…he does not rule the home by power and control. He governs his home by service and love. You can see a woman controlled by power. She is downcast and the light is gone in her eyes. And you can see a woman who is loved by her husband. She is alive, fully human, confident, and joyfully doing whatever work God has called her to with spirit and life. Why do so many who claim the name of Christ believe that women are to be controlled by entitlement and power?
Yep, he sure nailed it. You want the women in your life, wives, daughters, sisters, friends, sparkling with the love of Christ, light in spirit and joyous. The women around you become a testimony to how well you lead, how well you serve. Bring some light to her eyes, fill her with spirit and life, and one day He just might say, well done good and faithful servant.
******Just to clarify, Dalrock’s post is located here
******Sam Powell’s post is here
Julie Sheppard aka Reiko Chinen said:
Great message.
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Dan Ledwith said:
Glad to know you jumped over to Sam’s post. I thought his argument was very compelling. He is getting a lot of heat for it.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I’m baffled as to why he is getting flack. I thought his points were well made. I’m really surprised this ideas create so much controversy. Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. 🙂
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Dan Ledwith said:
He’s basically saying that the key verse arguing for complimentarianism does not mean what those people have thought it did. In essence he is saying that Tim Keller, RC Sproul, John Piper, and Wayne Grudem are claiming something in that passage that isn’t there.
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insanitybytes22 said:
A bit funny, I’m a total complementarian, and yet they are indeed reading things into the verse that are not there. Some of the arguments for complementarity are absolutely appalling. Then we get into this eternal submission of the Son stuff and I’m ready to scream.
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Dan Ledwith said:
Agreed. My friend Carolyn Custis James argues that patriarchy is the backdrop in which the gospel takes place, but is not part of it.
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insanitybytes22 said:
It’s a lovely backdrop, isn’t it? I mean what’s better than protection, provision? And authority, awesome,….except when it isn’t and it’s misused, in which case there must be safety net.
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Dan Ledwith said:
Very true. If a husbands authority is derived from love, it is awesome.
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Dan Ledwith said:
See? I cam be serious and theological too. =)
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Holly T. Ashley said:
Hu Oh…. I must take a little trip over to Sam’s place apparently.
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Holly T. Ashley said:
Well, I am not sure that I disagree with Sam. I don’t think he is stating that the hierarchy is abusive – I believe, or what I took from it, was that he is opposition with the feminist movement within the domestic violence community (a struggle I have daily, as you know), that denies the headship of male authority within the marriage and God’s calling to that man to indeed lead.
One of the main issues that I am pressing into the hearts of believing women, when I speak is the importance of choosing that man using both 2 Timothy and Titus 2 as guidelines, as they are guidelines for leaders – and just as the Bible describes these leaders of the church- God has also instructed men to lead the home in the same manner as Christ leads the church (Eph. 5:25-32). And if he doesn’t meet that standard that God gives, then move along.
In the same manner, as I am counseling women who are in abusive relationships – I simply help them GET OUT.
I agree with the Powell statement as well – The best way to lead is through the love of Christ. The Bible says that a man is to cover his wife in prayer… to present her without blemish… that means without physical bruising – but more importantly, without any emotional, spiritual or psychological bruising, marks… or scares.
But maybe I misunderstood him. ?
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insanitybytes22 said:
I rather liked Sam’s take on things. Dalrock and some of the others are not pleased. As much as modern fems drive me crazy, I have to say the biggest obstacle in building healthy marriages and eliminating domestic violence come from Christian men themselves within the church.
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Holly T. Ashley said:
Well… there is a point to that, I agree. However, until we teach our girls to say “No” to men who do not meet the standard found in the Bible for biblical manhood, girls will continue to date losers and then marry them. Also, I find more and more women in the Church who are defining submissiveness as co-dependency and for the sake of nothing more than to save face they stay.
With that being said, there is absolutely NO church discipline for men who abuse their wives- There is NO excuse for that! We need these churches to understand that they MUST take the Bible at its entire Word or forgo the facade’ of a church altogether!
xoxo
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insanitybytes22 said:
Oh amen to that, holly! It’s sad but with no church discipline, no awareness of dv issues, the church becomes unworthy to lead on marriage and so the secular world steps in and takes over and begins defining marriage and our values for us.
I love to write about the differences between submission and codependacy, but I don’t dare because there are far too many within the church that don’t see a separation at all.
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OKRickety said:
Holly T. Ashley,
“However, until we teach our girls to say “No” to men who do not meet the standard found in the Bible for biblical manhood, girls will continue to date losers and then marry them.”
Any idea how many so-called Christian girls say “No” to all men in the church, and choose to marry a non-Christian? That is, choose to be unequally yoked (against the Bible’s teaching). I think there is also a great need to teach this Biblical truth to Christian girls, too.
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fromscratchmomblog said:
That was a super interesting article. Good food for thought. Thanks, IB!
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The Night Wind said:
It’s not surprising that the Red Pills would defend domestic violence; they claimed the other day that misogyny is a Christian virtue, well-grounded in Western thought. Just like the Feminists say…
http://nightwind777.blogspot.com/2016/09/red-pills-claim-hatred-as-christian.html
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Paul said:
Amen
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Eric said:
LOL—I saw that one of Dull-rock’s commenters got banned for trolling at Powell’s site. And he got a stern lecture from Powell, too. These Gamecocks are as bad as the Scientologists when they think they have enemies.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I don’t even know Sam Powell, but he seems like a nice man and he is rooted in scripture. I hate watching those Dalrockians launch their disinformation campaigns against people. “By their fruits you shall know them” and those fruits are just hissing and spitting venom all over the place.
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Eavan said:
I don’t have a lot to comment at the moment other than to observe that one side of this debate seems to see abuse everywhere and the other sees rebellion everywhere and so there isn’t any possibility of true dialog. One side says there’s male abuse everywhere you look in the church; the other says there’s female abuse everywhere you look. That’s fascinating. One assumes they’re talking about the same church, but how can that be?
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insanitybytes22 said:
Good point, Eavan. How can both be true, indeed? Because people are trapped in their own subjective reality, I suspect, so all they can really see is a projection of themselves?
However, I have to say, the men like Dalrock are without excuse because they are called to lead in “the greater church” at large, so for them to be declaring things like, “I am not my sister’s keeper” or that women always lie about abuse, is simply unacceptable. For them to attack every single pastor, every religious organization that doesn’t promote their own world view, is another red flag.
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Eavan said:
At this point, no church or parachurch organization is “pure” enough for them. It reminds me of a book I was given years ago. It was such nonsense that I got rid of it and now don’t remember the name, but the basic idea is that the true church has always been underground, that the visible church is the hand of Satan, and that the “thread” of Christianity through history has always been very thin. Basically, if a person is a member of a too-visible denomination they will automatically be corrupt and there is no possibility they’re Christian. According to the author, the visible church has been waging war on the real church since the death of Christ, including killing any real Christians they happen upon. The trajectory of these Christian RP gnostics is heading in this direction – they are the only real Christians, everybody else is “infected”. Of course, everybody IS actually infected, including the RPs. Nobody completely escapes the errors of their particular historical time.
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insanitybytes22 said:
What you speak, that alleged secret knowledge, the idea that you belong to a tiny group, the rest of the world being infected, that’s all very cultian and very seductive, too.
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Eavan said:
I think most people have some sort of “them” as the perceived cause of their problems. It’s a tendency that only the spiritually mature seem able to resist, so it’s not hard for a charismatic person to capitalize on it. Getting people out of these toxic systems is extremely difficult – for many of them it’s the only time anybody listens to them.
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insanitybytes22 said:
You’re so right. I guess it’s really hard, humbling to admit that there really is no “them” causing all our problems. It’s usually us and they way we’re perceiving things and behaving. Not that there aren’t some bad circumstances or things out to get us, but we have a whole lot of power to rule over our own spirits.
People being enticed, seduced into those toxic systems can be really sad and frustrating, because the lure is so powerful and the pull is very strong. I guess I believe that it’s just so important to put our eyes on Christ and not on people or ideology. That’s what all the good pastors do, they point to Christ and not to themselves. Cultians always rally around some personalitity who usually dishes out rewards and punishments and uses power to control people.
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emilyy96 said:
BGR is also wholeheartedly encouraging wife abuse, again.
These people give us such a bad name smh
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insanitybytes22 said:
I know they do. I’m sorry, Emily. Wish I could talk some sense into them! I guess the rest of us just have to speak a lot louder so people actually know what is of Christ and what is not.
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authorstephanieparkermckean said:
Brilliant. Totally beautiful. Thank you. You always deliver!
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pamelaparizo said:
I k now this is an old post, and I haven’t read all the posts. Being bound to the Word of God, I hate when these Red PIllars drag out some secular authority to rest their case on. As if Duluuth (whoever that is) or the Rational Male, or Roman virtues have anything at all to do with Jesus Christ. Then they look at you strange when you question them. I have to agree with this Sam POwell, because if they were Christian, why isn’t there JOY?
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