Tags
blogging, clowns in the asylum, conspiracies, humor, insanitybytes22, internet culture, mixed nuts, opinion, politics
It can be challenging to blog in the midst of a complete internet meltdown, like when someone posts an idiotic video that for some mysterious reason causes teh feelz and goes viral. Or during times of great political scandal, when attentions are diverted to other things.
I am the worst of the lot, I love a grand and elaborate conspiracy of the JFK sort. Someone once called me a Conspiritress, a name I still cling to, quite delighted by it. It’s not the conspiracy itself that interests me so much as it is what motivates us to pause from the mundane and ordinary routine of life and try to identify the secret deceptions, intrigue, and manipulations going on around us.
I’m also a bit of a cynic, as in what if the grandest conspiracy of all is that there really are no alien lizard overlords hiding in Washington DC, orchestrating these elaborate plot twists? What if we people are just as bungling and foolish as we appear? And what if we have no one else to blame but ourselves? Now there’s a scary thought….
Ah, court intrigue, it has captured our minds and hearts since forever. I find scandals, intrigues, and conspiracies rather encouraging, no matter how far out in the stratosphere they are tripping the light fantastic. They are evidence of people actually thinking, of neurons actually firing, and our imaginations doing some work. That’s often a good thing.
So yesterday someone spilled the whole entire can of mixed nuts all over the place and I was left wondering, who let the dogs out? On the internet and on the ground, it was nothing but talk of Hillary’s alleged health issues, the great cover up, right on down to the obvious body double that seems to have soon reappeared on the scene. She shall forever now be known as the Manchurian candidate…
Right on time, as if to stir the pot, some obscure media outlet “accidentally” reported her death or were “experiencing unscheduled maintenance and technical difficulties,” depending on your perspective.
But why stop there? Naturally a forensic pathologist with a love for all things Russian and a dislike for all things Trumpian, stepped into the fray to suggest likely poisoning, a frequent tactic of ridding oneself of political enemies since the days of old. Putin makes some people a bit nervous it seems.
Not to be left out in the cold, the Sandinistas, an intense lot let me tell you, jumped onto the pig pile to remind people we have a replacement candidate and he hasn’t got pneumonia. Obviously all this intrigue is about Bernie playing a high stakes game of 11 dimensional chess. Isn’t he just so smart? He’s going to be our candidate! Ah, yes hope springs eternal. Actually their spring of hope is becoming a bit more like the annoying and persistent leak of incontinence, but I suppose that wouldn’t be polite to mention.
I promise you, all of these things are totally true because I read them on the internet. Well, “true” in the sense that they are actually being said and thought by real people. As to “factually based and rooted in reality,” perhaps not so much.
I assure you, some of us remained far above the fray, as in quite high up, gazing towards all those chemtrails that seemed to be dotting our skies yesterday. Or perhaps they are only the tails of jets long since past. Than again there is always the chance they are one of those experimental missiles from North Korea…..
ColorStorm said:
Yeah that’s the trouble ms bytes, not all conspiracies are lies. Somewhere in the center of the far fetched tales, there are glimmers of truth. But mixed nuts? I’ll take a can of macadamias as I associate with my brethren the almonds, pecans, and cashews.
After all, are not all believers somewhat nutty, or so they say.
You did strike a good one there: just set up the chess board, winner take all and crowned pres. THAT would be some serious play by play, imagine the pundits whispering……….’she is taking the pawn, but no, it’s a trap…………ooh, the queen was slain by the knight……….’
It wouldn’t work though; end up a stalemate! 😉 See, nutty?
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Ah, there’s nothing like a good chess game, now is there? And nuts are good brain food, so there should always be some nuts handy 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
ColorStorm said:
U b talking my language now, ha.
I would have loved to be around when the game was inspired. Some serious stuff there.
Logic. Math. Warfare. Sacrifice. Vision. Restraint. Secrecy. Stealth. Honor. Mercy. Wrath. Victory.
So rare where you can slay a man while smiling. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
insanitybytes22 said:
Lol! My dad used to love chess. It wasn’t easy, but I beat him a few times. He used to accuse me of cheating by being so irrational and unpredictable. He would tell me I couldn’t make certain moves because they violated the laws of logic. I used to have to remind him I was in it to win it, not celebrate a well reasoned move. Fond memories, colorstorm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Citizen Tom said:
Played chess in high school and college for fun. Not great. Easily start day dreaming. Also tend to get so involved in my own devious machinations that I forget to look for my opponents devious machinations.
Given what I learned from chess, I suppose the conspiracy theorists serve at least one purpose. They remind us to look for the devious machinations of politicians. The problem is that that distract us from the machinations that matter. H. Clinton’s health issues don’t much matter. Selling us out to foreigners matters. Deliberately violating security regulations matters. Not protecting our people (Benghazi) matters. Fomenting identify politics matters. Her statist agenda matters.
All H. Clinton’s health issues indicate is here propensity for covering up. She is a liar, but we knew that already. Nevertheless, H. Clinton’s conspiratorial agenda is easy for any who want to know to discover. It is as you intimated.
Almost anyone who votes for that lady is in on the plot. Instead of voting for what is best for the country, they are just voting for themselves. They are as pathetic as that silly fool who voted for her Obamaphone.
LikeLike
Wally Fry said:
Sandinistas
Now, that’s extra humorous if you have spent any time at all in Central American History.
Well done
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
LOL, I wish I were joking, Wally, but I live in the midst of them. Some them make me want to just want to roll up the car windows and lock the doors.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wally Fry said:
I know how serious you are IB! Again, sometimes I am glad to live safely in my bubble.
On the other hand…sure are a lot of people one can talk to about Jesus up your way. Plenty down here, too, but their is they think because they were “raised Christian,” that all is well. You all apparently have a bumper crop of self professed heathens LOL. The field is ripe for the harvest.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mike said:
Hillary is Dead?
LikeLike
insanitybytes22 said:
So said the ticker at the bottom of the news screen. You know that one is true too, because you know, it must be true if you see it on the news.
LikeLike
Mike said:
I Knew It!
LikeLiked by 1 person
christinewjc said:
This post is great! We were on a similar “wave length” this morning. Pontius Pilate comes to mind when he asked Jesus, “What is truth?”
In this case, I would ask, “What is the truth” in this bag of mixed nuts?!
Loved this line:
Epic!
I’ll take Jesus’ awesome words over anything else…anytime!
AND!
LikeLike
Paul said:
I pick the cashews out of the mixed nut bowl – I’m a bit of a downer at a party, zipping from bowl to bowl – Yum! Ha! I was also the president of the Chess Club in High School, but I haven’t played for years. By the way, IB, when you used unconventional tactics to win against your father , you were engaging as an early adopter in a new and emerging type of warfare (that scares the US silly by the way) called asymmetriical warfare.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asymmetric_warfare
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Awesome, Paul! I am all about the asymmetrical warfare. Well, metaphorically and peacefully of course.
LikeLiked by 1 person
fromscratchmomblog said:
Haha! I’ve never heard it labeled before. But I like it, asymmetrical warfare! This is actually what I thought of when you wrote that women don’t have honor, IB, although I realize it probably was not what you were going for! If I were commander-in-chief in a time of war, I would most definitely be “in it to win it”. And I don’t think I’m the only female who sees all eye as being off once someone commits an act of war against mine. My kids, my students, my people if I were a political leader. If you wake the mama bear in me, you might want to duck.
I once witnessed a “girl fight” in high school. (For some reason the guys fought rather frequently.) It took several huge guys and a coach on each girl to successfully pull them apart and I’ll never forget the amount of hair that fell on the ground once they finally managed it! Us girls can be scary. It’s best not to shut down our every path of peaceful resolution!
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
“Us girls can be scary. It’s best not to shut down our every path of peaceful resolution!”
LOL! I love that, well said.
LikeLiked by 1 person