Somewhat funny, I never speak of how blessed my hubby is, because that is such a given, such a known fact that it never occurred to me that it even needed to be said at all! Ah female pride, the good kind, the kind that is simply so self-assured that one is a blessing, it never even occurs to one that any puffery is even needed. It is a given, such a given, does it even need to be said?
Someone quite rightly pointed out that I often speak favorably about hubby, about what a blessing he is, but not about what a blessing I am to him. That is simply a first person- second person thing, as in one of life’s great pleasures is delighting in another person, in the romance of a great love story, from one’s own rather self-centered perspective, I suppose. I am blessed, let me brag and tell you why…
However, it was a good point, when nothing is ever said, one can start to get the impression that hubby is in a marriage of one, that I am simply chopped liver along for the ride or something. Heaven forbid someone translate that into meaning I don’t think wives play a powerful role in marriages. I often think of us as the real architects, as the relationship experts. We have the skills and the power to write our own narratives, our own love stories, and to reflect and multiply what we are given. A man might build a house but it is a wife that will make it a home.
So, as to blessed, oh hubby is infinetely blessed, he definitely won the wife lottery, which I say with all good gallows humor after slogging along with the man for some 30 years now. I am infinitely patient, tolerant, and very good at ruling my own spirit, as in not prone to exccessive emotionalism. It is not always perfect, I do slam a few doors now and than and suddenly have to go for a walk, but for the most part I have a good grasp on my emotions which makes communication so much easier.
Somebody smart once said that where women tend to be modest sexually, men are modest emotionally. There’s some real wisdom behind those words. Too much emotion or feelings can be as uncomfortable for men, as mortifying as excessive sexual banter might be for women. Everyone is differant, but in general men who will be bold and full of locker room bluster, will suddenly find themselves out of their element, uncomfortable, in unfamiliar territory when there is too much emotion and feelings involved.
Hubby is infinitely blessed becasue I observe these kind of things, I learn from them, so I can take our differences into account, and so eventually one comes to simply respect and honor another’s areas of modesty. Blessed becasue I have the eyes to see and understand that to “do unto others as you would have done unto you,” must be understood in the context of differance and individualty. What I need and what he needs are not quite the same. I need safety, he needs respect. They’re completely differant but they do complement one another.
He’s also blessed because I am cute. He is very cute too, especially in his red suspenders, but I must admit my heart soars and my female vanity sings when his crew starts teasing him about which one of his daughters brought him lunch. The only way the man could be more blessed is if he won the actual lottery, which unfortunately I have not yet been able to deliver.
If you think about it, the ultimate act of female empowerment is really to step into those shoes that rightfully belong to us, where we come to fully understand that we have the skills and the power to write our own narratives, our own love stories, and to reflect and multiply what we are given.
The best way I know to reflect and multiply what we have been given is to look up and learn to see ourselves as God sees us, as having such worth and value He gave His all for us.