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All in good humor here, but some orcs have gone and annoyed me by speaking of “marrying up” versus “marrying down.” What’s with this rubbish? Who in their right mind “marries down?” Who even thinks that way?

For the record, I married up, as in blessed and gifted with this lovely husband who I am hardly worthy of. Conversely however, he also married up, as in he found a rare gem. Obviously we could not have both “married up,” but who cares? Whether it’s a logical system or not, it’s a far better attitude to have than trying to assign worth and value to your spouse in comparison to yourself. This is especially true after one is already married, in which the time for alleged vetting has now passed.

So knowing whether or not you married “up” or “down” is indeed an important thing to know in marriage, because if you are the kind of person who thinks you married down, your poor spouse is now tied to a self-absorbed, pompous creep, and needs our prayers.

If you are indeed married to a self-absorbed, pompous creep, there are only two possibilities there. 1. God gave you someone exactly like yourself because He has a great sense of humor, or 2. He knows your actual worth and value and wishes to stretch you, to help you discover what exactly you are made of.

Sometimes it doesn’t work out.

I am NOT a divorce shamer. A discourager perhaps, as in there are some real blessings to be found in sticking it out, in working to create the kind of marriage that really brings you both closer to God. However, life happens, stuff happens, people happen, and divorce happens. I get that. If God can forgive a murderer or a thief, than surely He can forgive us our marital challenges and our divorces.

And if God can forgive you for divorce, than you must forgive yourself, too.

farmerandwife

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