Tags
boundaries, faith, forgiveness, healing, insanitybytes22, opinion, trespasses, walls
Y’all will be pleased to know that I have settled the debate over the Lord’s prayer,”debts, sins, or trespasses?” I settled it in the usual way I settle all theological debates, by asking God to explain it to me. Shortly thereafter, just around the corner from my house, a sign actually fell off a fence and whacked me on the head. When I picked it up it said, “trespassing.” Yes, only the bottom half of the sign chose to fall on my head.
God must have a great sense of humor because I suspect He knows exactly how difficult it would be for me to explain to anyone, “I received a sign from above.” No, not a spiritual sign, a literal one, as in a sign above me fell on my head and answered a question I had prayed about just that morning.
I am completely serious. Naturally it makes some people exceedingly nervous that there might be a crazy woman walking in the world who claims that God speaks to her. How do we know it’s really God she’s hearing? Surely she’s a heretic. Nope, I am not,“my sheep know my voice.” Many people say those words but they don’t believe, not really. The supernatural frightens them. I am unabashedly all about the supernatural and listening for His voice.
I still say the Lord’s prayer wrong sometimes, although “wrong” is not quite the right word. I don’t believe you can go wrong in prayer. “Sins, debts, trespasses” all capture a very similar idea. For me however, the word “trespasses” was a revelation and I immediately connected it to Proverbs 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”
A wall in Proverbs is a boundary. When a wall is broken down, one is not allowed to rule over one’s own spirit. It is a trespass. Healthy people have some walls around them, some boundaries, they are allowed the freedom to rule over their own spirit. If someone does harm to you, they are trespassing. It is an offense, a trespass.
When someone violates your boundaries, tries to scale your walls, trespasses against you, it is important to recognize it for what it is, to name it, and then work on forgiving those trespasses. Don’t try to put the cart before the horse. Don’t leap to forgiveness before accepting that the wall was actually breached.
I have a narcissistic mother with no boundaries. Suffice it to say, she is not motivated by what is in my best interests and never has been. That was a tough one for me to come to terms with. As kids we always hold out hope. I could never fully accept the idea that my mother owed me a debt or that she sinned against me. But trespass? Oh yes, that fit perfectly. The entire nature of our relationship has always revolved around Proverbs 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”
With narcissists you become their supply, your walls are an offense to them. The fact that you might need to rule over your own spirit does not occur to them. You really exist only as a hologram, as a reflection of themselves. I sometimes call it being trapped in a fun house hall of mirrors.
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..” serves a vital purpose. For one, lugging around unforgiveness is like dragging around a box of rocks. It hurts you far more than it hurts anyone else. But also, forgiveness allows you to recognize and name the trespass against you for what it was, a violation, a wrong doing, a breach of your spirit.
Everyone’s spirit gets breached sometimes. If yours never does, your walls are too high, and if it always does, your walls are too low. All of us have the ability to learn how to rule our own spirit,with a little help from above.
Debbie L said:
Good one!
Now about my mom….she’s a chameleon. Makes me so mad, I think she’s on my side over an issue-then she flips it just when one of my sister’s want her to change her mind and go against my “suggestion.” Sometimes she seems narcissistic. Us three sisters can’t do enough for her. She 93, widowed twice. Never made a decision herself, her husband’s were both authoritarian. Now us 3 girls have to help her make good decisions….
My mother in law on the other hand wants us to do nothing for her to a fault! My sis n law and my sisters all hope and pray we’re better role models for our children! I wonder what they’ll say about us on day….😁
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Yes, I have worked for several chameleons. I too had a wonderful MIL, her only fault was that she never asked for enough from us. I miss her, we used to take long walks together and go out to lunch. She was more than a MIL,she was a friend. Oh, the tales she would tell, too! Great stories.
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Debbie L said:
What a blessing she must have been!
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atimetoshare.me said:
God knows just what we need when we need it
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atimetoshare.me said:
God certainly has great timing.. The trespassing sign reminded me of a similar incident. Right after we put our house on the market we received a call from our realtor that we had an offer. We were in the car and pulled into a parking lot to take the call. As we left we came to a sign that said “praise the Lord” so we did! The offer fell through but we know God is in charge.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! I’m so glad to know another sign reader! What can I say, when we find ourselves under a sign that says, “praise the Lord,” get busy. 🙂
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atimetoshare.me said:
The signs are everywhere, when you look for them. Have a great day!
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Paul said:
Cool, I’m not heard that addressed before. Thought-provoking.
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Maria, a gentle iconoclast said:
thank you, IB!
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Matthew Winters Ministries said:
My dear friend, you addressed narcissism so well. I always enjoy your posts!
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theancients said:
Loved this post, and even more so that you thoroughly embrace the supernatural.
There’s this saying I try to adhere to – your life is either supernatural or it’s superficial.
Stay inspired and totally Blessed.
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spreadincrazysmiles said:
Oh wow. I’m glad I stopped by to read this, it was very interesting and I’m glad I read all the way through. I’ve always been interested in the supernatural and definitely have been interested in God. He surely does find a way to speak to you in a way you would understand doesn’t he?
As a kid, it really is hard to fault your parents, you always want to look at them with rose colored glasses.
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"A" dad said:
Memi, have you noticed that this post, and many recent ones kind of riff off your “Write your own darn narrative” idea?
These have all been good thoughts! ; – )
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Fromscratchmom said:
I enjoy your voice in your writing. I feel God has hit me over the head tonight, although my wee hours moment didn’t literally hit me. I had to get up and take the dogs out (recently got two four month old puppies for my 16 yo who is doing beautifully with them but is sick right now). A certain phrase kept popping in my head, “having a form of godliness.” Isn’t it fun how different the Holy Spirit sounds from our own sometimes intrusive thoughts? Once I had taken care of the work that was needed, drank some kombucha and some mineral water and finally crawled back into bed I looked it up and read the surrounding context. Wow. Just wow. 9 verses somehow packed with more power, significance, and understanding than any human intelligence could allow for.
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ColorStorm said:
Love that word trespass ms bytes.
And of course the sign hittin’ ya upside the head. 😉 I agree as to the perfect timing and sense of humor of God, and how he always reaches us where we are.
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Andy Oldham said:
Great post! Maybe more of us should get a sign from heaven! lol
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Rebecca LuElla Miller said:
“Sign from above.” Seriously!! I love that. God is so gracious, He communicates with us in the ways we need it. So some of us need a whack on the head from a sign from above. Hahah! Love, love, love it. 😀
Becky
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