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yabbA frequent complaint I get is that I belong to a bunch of cave dwellers, to the alleged “Bronze age goat herders” of my faith.  So it is with some amusement that I found myself reading an evo/psych thread written by some real cave dwellers who seem to believe that evolution explains everything. They were like a herd of apes all beating their manly chests, bragging about how many bananas they have, and blaming women for all the evils of the world. Self identifying as great silver backs, I suspect.

So the theory goes that women, in a vile quest to manipulate the gene pool, have been selecting only thugs, while selecting out and rejecting all the good and gentle men. Because of women’s incredible lack of morals and odd sexual tastes, we now have a world populated by complete barbarians, which allegedly proves evolution. Naturally the most aggressive men can hunt the most bananas, which is why aggressive men are more attractive to women. Apparently we have a great fondness for bananas.

Anyway, due to this female character defect, all the good men are being edited out of the equation, being rudely deprived of their civil right to play in the gene pool.

Poor grammar and chest thumping aside, there is some simple logic behind this. From an evo/psych perspective, you could make an argument for the fact that women are more attracted to utter barbarians because we have evolved to desire protection and provision.  Or because we’re just evil and wish to create a master race of Morlocks. Either way it seems to fit somewhat.

Naturally that is not the conclusion they made, the Lost Boys of the Cave decided that if there is any evil to be found in men, it is clearly the fault of women who must have bred it into them genetically by sexually selecting only the most obnoxious men, the thugs, and not unlike you would breed characteristics into a poodle, we have somehow managed to take a beautiful creature like a man-wolf and transform him into a chihuahua.

Yes, by pre-selecting only thugs, we have somehow managed to create a world full of rabid chihuahuas. Apparently something has gone terrible wrong with our natural selection. Last time I checked wolves are far more manly than chihuahuas, so in theory if women are only selecting  thugs, than we should be creating a world filled with nothing but total were-wolves, the offspring of barbarians.

Left completely unsaid however, was the fact that if women really lived in a  world full of complete barbarians, just how much choice and sexual selection are women actually capable of?  Never mind.

I came to 3 conclusions after reading this diatribe. First, God was right in Genesis  when He said, “it is not good for the man to be alone.” That apparently included alone with his thoughts. Second, whatever women’s flaws are, if there is any sexual selection going on, it can’t be any more foolish than what I was reading from these men. But lastly and most importantly, evolution in this sense can not exist because women do select men for protection and provision and in cave dwelling days that is going to translate into quite aggressive and barbaric. If women were truly selecting only thugs due to our alleged sexual evolution, we should have created a master race of Morlocks by now. Now true, some days it does appear as if we have done exactly that, but in truth human nature has not changed much over the centuries.

I often think the world is going to hell in a hand basket myself, but that can be a difficult thing to measure. Something we have to adjust for is the population explosion, recently declining, but it took us forever as humans to arrive at one billion people on the planet. We went from 1 billion to more than 7 billion in just the last  century. More people simply means more chaos, not that we are evolving into some less pleasant life form. Than we have the technology age, mediated reality, that works very hard to bring us every human tragedy and failing known to man. We are inundated with information, most of it negative. So more people and more information about people than we ever wanted to have, can certainly skew our perspectives.

We have not created a master race of Morlocks. Sad to say, but I have to conclude that what we are seeing in the world today is actually just human nature, largely amplified due to population increases and technology.

As to those Lost Boys of the Cave however,  whoever has been sexually selecting for the stupid gene, Girl, we really need to talk…….