I snagged this little didy off of facebook because it really resonated with me and broke my heart. I see evidence of these truths all over the place. Being a mom, “who taught us how to love like this,” just pierced my heart. Who, indeed? It was us, collectively as the generation who came before them. Where did we fail, where did we go wrong?
Somehow we broke love, we killed romance, destroyed relationships between men and women, and turned dating into a recreational bloodsport with genuine collateral damage. What happened?
Being a mom however, I’m aware that some of my mother guilt is misappropriated, that we deliver these precious little beings into a broken world, wanting so much more for them then the world will ever provide. My kids were all 3 weeks late and had to be induced. I suspect I was hanging onto them for as long as possible, keeping them safe and protected in the womb where the pain of the world could not touch them.
I have had to grieve this so many times, I’m so sorry kid, this is not the world I wanted to give you…..
The kids were hardly walking before it became evident that we had already lost the culture war, that our own influence was simply not going to carry the same weight as what the culture all around was teaching them. Don’t get me wrong, parents matter, but the world steps in and starts whispering to them, and before you know it you own kids have turned on you, now lamenting the fact that their parents are still married and not divorced like normal kid’s parents are. How could we embarrass them so, deprive them of what all the other normal kids get, visitation rights, child support, step families, or really cool things like having two moms?
An embarassment, we became an embarassment Dad and I, a cultural dinosaur from another time, so outdated, so old fashioned, so …weird. We are an oddity, uncool, unhip, traditionalists from another dimension, a dimension where all the oppression happens, where marriage is all about depriving people of their rights, where authority is always equated with abuse, where any differences between the genders are perceived as inequality, men and women being nothing more than victims and perpetrators…
I did not do this to the world, I did not break it, but I did stand by helplessly and watch it all happen. I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t fix it, it was simply far too big for me.
“Who taught us how to love like this?”
We did, collectively as a culture. We let this happen. Everyone lies. Everyone plays games. Love, the one thing we have to hang onto in this world so disrespected, so demeaned, so broken. Men and women as nothing more than predators and prey, as if what have you done for me, me, me is the only thing that matters anymore.
I grieve for our sons and daughters, I grieve for sons and daughters I don’t even know, I grieve for what we have done in the world, for a culture that has not yet begun to understand what a stiff price we will pay, how much suffering we have caused.
But then I remember, so who taught me how to love like this? Who taught me about the value of commitment, about hanging on during the tough times, about believing that fairytales really can come true? I come from a broken home, from a world of militant atheism, from cults and abuse and parental kidnapping, from people who didn’t know the first thing about love.
I did one thing right, one thing that makes all the difference in the world, I simply looked up and said, okay, so show me what love is. He did, He does, and it isn’t a game at all, it isn’t about predators and prey, it isn’t about lies and deception, and the only bloodsport involved was His own blood shed for me.
That’s true love. Not everyone lies, not everyone.