Something I bump into a lot is this idea that “God hates me, God is punishing me, God has abandoned me.” I am all about a proper pity party, sinking into the misery, and eating worms. Life can be downright pathetic sometimes and it hurts. But all 3 of those statements are likely false and we must be very careful about the words we speak over ourselves and others, especially in times of distress.
So, “God hates me.” Most likely not. He loves us so much He laid down His life for us. Also, most of us lack the power and importance to draw God’s wrath down upon us. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just saying that at best we can disappoint or grieve Him. Earthly parents seldom hate their own children, no matter what they do, and God is an even more perfect parent. God’s love for us is steadfast, patient, understanding, and full of mercy. We may be hating on ourselves, but that is not the nature of the God I know. In fact, the God I know doesn’t like us hating on ourselves at all. We are created in His image. So hating on ourselves is kind of like hating His artwork.
So, “God is punishing me.” That one can get more complicated, because sometimes, yes, but our attitude about it is often all wrong. Discipline is an act of love, not hatred, and it’s actually a benefit, a blessing, a protection. God does not just heap misery upon our heads to make us needlessly suffer. “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.”
Do not lose heart, that cannot be said enough. Don’t lament, “God is punishing me,” change it to “God is blessing me.” If you are highly favored, you will be much loved. That’s just the way it is. Don’t lose heart and learn to draw closer to Him.
Also, Job was a righteous man, having the Lord’s favor. God wasn’t punishing him because he was a rotten person or an epic failure. There was none so righteous as Job. Sometimes we are deliberately chosen to face unpleasant things because we really are worthy, because God can trust us with them. It requires some discernment to tell the difference, but God often hides treasures, fruits, blessings within hard times. Don’t ask “why me,” ask why not me? Am I not worthy of what has been set before me? God may not be punishing you at all, He may be blessing you with a great honor.
“God has abandoned me.” That’s a feeling, an emotional state of being. Scripture tells us, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Never. Jesus Christ already experienced that on the cross on our behalf, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” It is finished now. He had victory. Often when we feel as if God has abandoned us, it is our own selves that have pulled away. We have created that separation, not God. He is always with us, waiting with open arms. Set down the things that separate you from Him at His feet and He will draw closer.
Suffering can be a complex issue, but it often serves a vital purpose. It’s kind of sad that we in the Western world have created this culture that suggests if I am good, I will get only good things, therefore all suffering must be bad or someone else’s fault. I wish we’d flip that narrative around. For all I know, God in His infinite mercy has given some guy a private plane and a red Ferrari, because that is the only joy that man will ever know… for all of eternity.
Think about that. There are treasures that some of us have acquired through suffering that others will never be blessed to experience. It is often in our brokeness and suffering that God shines so brightly, that His powerful presence can be felt and known. That’s a priceless gift.
Wally Fry said:
Not only does God chastise us to point us in the right direction, but there is more
If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?
If we sin, and don’t feel any chastisement, we should be quite concerned.
And of course, there are the naturally occurring consequences of our actions. Sometimes our mistakes cost us. Just like a real Dad, letting things take their course does not mean a lack of love.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yes, well said, Wally. I think we get into trouble sometimes because some people are prone to leap to conclusions, to sink into despair when somebody gets sick or something, and assume God is punishing them. Remember Job’s friends? They all told him he must be doing something wrong, that God must be punishing Him. But that wasn’t Job’s story at all! God will also use us to bless us and others too, not everything “bad” that happens to us is about discipline.
Some of us are different too, softer hearts or harder heads, so I think the way God treats us is different, too. My son, you never even had to say a word to him, but my daughter, a house could fall on her head before she got the message. I think God responds to us that way too, depending on our personalities.
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Paul said:
Indeed IB – I couldn’t agree more. The problem is that we are individuals and God is all. Of necessity that means we have very different perspectives. I used to run into this regularly even in my secular world. For instance when I was dispatching fleets we had big and little customers. So sometimes a big customer would phone up and say they had a difficult task for us and please make sure it was accomplished quickly, efficiency and accurately. We would put one of our best drivers on it and it could be a dirty, time intensive task with little driving (almost all our drivers preferred to drive as much as possible). The driver gets talking to his buddies who have been running long, single drop loads, and he comes back and says “Why are you punishing me?” As far as he was concerned the work was dirty, boring and valueless.As far as I was concerned it was critical to keeping a big customer. So, I made it a habit to take drivers aside on special loads and explain why the loads were important. This kept us all on the same page.
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insanitybytes22 said:
That’s a good point, Paul. We do have different perspectives, God being God and all. Some of the worst things that have happened to me have turned out to really be the best things that even happened. Conversely, I have sometimes gotten exactly what I wanted and it wasn’t really what I wanted at all.
“So, I made it a habit to take drivers aside on special loads and explain why the loads were important. This kept us all on the same page.”
Yes! Many times God has done something very similar for me, explained exactly why things are happening the way they are.
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Heather Holbrook said:
Love it, love it, love it!!! Thanks!!
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Citizen Tom said:
Love this post. Great insights.
When God ends the life of a person prematurely, destroys a city or even an entire world, I suppose He does so out of mercy. He knows it is only going to get worse.
Punishment may seem more brutal, but we fail to consider the alternative, never being fit for heaven. What we survive truly can strengthen us. Still, I must admit I am thankful I have not suffered much.
Where does Job situation fit into all this suffering. I suppose it is as Paul suggests. Job was one of God’s best truck drivers.
When I first read this verse, I found myself amazed.
Then I read what John Wesley had to say about Job 1:12, and I grew still more amazed.
When we suffer, we have the opportunity to bless or curse others. It all depends upon our attitude. If our pain seems too great, then we must remember what God promised. He will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear. He said nothing about pain. We may to suffer more pain than we can bear. Yet even then we have hope. We know our pain will pass, and we will know His joy again.
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insanitybytes22 said:
“When we suffer, we have the opportunity to bless or curse others.”
I love this, Tom! That’s the truth.
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irtfyblog said:
There is nothing left for me to say, for it has already been said by the few who have commented, so I will leave you with this…
Well done. 🙂
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Opinionated Man said:
There was a guy with the username God that really did hate me though.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Yes, that can happen on the intertoobz. HannibalLector once chewed me out for being insane and delusional. I know I am, but what are you? A serial killing cannibal?! 🙂
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Opinionated Man said:
Online fun. Explains why I got perm banned from CNN so many years ago.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Wear that one as a badge of honor. 🙂
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Opinionated Man said:
Next to the other badges right? Lmao 👌
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"A" dad said:
Memi,
1 Peter 4
12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.
13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And,
“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”[a]
19 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
It is hard for us to get a grip on the idea that we could suffer like Christ for some of the same reasons He did. Most of us are leary of thinking we are obediant enough to be granted tough tasks.
While we know we are not perfect yet, we should take God at His Word when he says we are new creations.
God also says that even if our faith is as small as a mustard seed, we might still move mountains.
“So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.”
I think you do good here Memi, especially considering the story of your childhood, being separated from your father, knowing God was with you, and continuing todo good, right here and now!
Thanks and Salt!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for your kind words and for those wonderful pieces of scripture! We serve a Savior who suffered greatly on our behalf, who understands exactly what we go through and is full of mercy and grace. It’s actually a privilege to be allowed to serve Him in any capacity. What is so amazing is that He often hides treasures even in our misery, and there are fruits to be harvested when we get through it. He really will hand us beauty for ashes.
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TT said:
Reblogged this on 40+/Single/Clueless and commented:
No matter what, God is forever present. Sometimes, we just are not mindful. As this blogger says, “That’s a priceless gift.”
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you, much appreciated.
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Robert Matthew Goldstein said:
excellent post! thank you!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you 🙂
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Tricia said:
Very much enjoyed this post IB, a lot of stuff in there I needed to hear, especially this, “There are treasures that some of us have acquired through suffering that others will never be blessed to experience”. Well said!
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Salvageable said:
Excellent post, IB, and it hits home as I spend the month on tenterhooks. It’s easy for me to believe that when things go wrong, it’s all my fault. An expensive repair, while I’m waiting for people in another city to make an important decision… and I find it hard to stop analyzing my life to find what I’m doing wrong. God’s grace and love are bigger than all our problems, and those that he chooses to allow, he allows for a reason. I know it’s true, but I don’t always act like it’s true. J.
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Hayley said:
Your God loves you. He could care less about me. He has demonstrated that fact many times in my life.
I guess I am not as special as all of you. I do deserve a safe home, or a safe job or anything. So I am an
atheist and I will live peacefully in my truth not some bible fairytale land. I truly hope your Jesus comes down
from Heaven and safes you all.
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insanitybytes22 said:
God loves you just as much as He loves anyone else. You are special. I’m sorry it feels as if He could care less about you, but feelings aren’t always a good reflection of the truth.
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