Tags
blogging, faith, humor, insanitybytes22, inspirational quotes, life, opinion
I seem to be surrounded by inspirational quotes about lemons and I must speak to the lemons, I must declare that lemons will not save you, no matter how inspirational they sound.
Well, unless one is a scurvy pirate, in which case lemons really will save you. No vitamin C in your body and things can get ugly very quickly. So if you are a scurvy pirate, disregard this post and embrace some lemons before it’s too late.
So first we have the rather trite, “if life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” That’s lovely, but as someone much wiser than me has observed, “if someone else doesn’t come along with some sugar and water, that’s going to be some crappy lemonade.”
Good point.
Than we have the hard-core, big and bad lemon followers, “if life hands you lemons, salt a glass and get some tequila.” Again, someone smarter than me has pointed out that the problem with that is that “demons know how to swim.” Also, as lovely as it is to contemplate wasting away again in Margaritaville,Ā never in the history of mankind has tequila ever made anyone’s life easier. Tequila actually tends to just make you stupider, so now you’re stupid and being chased by a bunch of half-drunken demons. That’s probably worse than the lemons you began with.
So along comes the kingdom principle of lemons, “if life hands you lemons, cut them up, harvest the seeds and plant a lemon orchard.” I like that very much, that is thinking outside the box, that is embracing the abundance of God. Take what God have given you and plant an orchard. That’s beautiful, I don’t wish to disparage that concept, but if you haven’t got any land or a decent climate where lemons actually grow, your orchard will be pitiful indeed, and probably look more like a pot in a windowsill with a sad and pathetic lemon sprout trying to grow.
Like it or not, there is nothing you can really do with lemons alone. When life hands you lemons it simply sucks…. like lemons. We need to stop trying to make it into something pretty, like “just pull yourself up by your bootstraps” or something. Lemons are lemons, they are sour, they make us pucker, hence the whole idea behind “go suck a lemon.”
I really have no idea what to do with all the lemons. I tend to just put them in a pretty bowl on the coffee table, inhale their fragrance, and stare at them woefully while contemplating the nature of existence. Sometimes I pray someone comes along with some sugar. All I’m really certain of is that lemons will not save you, not unless you are a scurvy pirate.
Do you ever wonder why people go crazy on social media?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bahahaha! No, I don’t “wonder” at all. Social media is enough to drive anyone crazy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My human told me about an old Florida granny that gave a lemon to each of her granddaughters, told them each to hold it firmly between their legs when they went on a date, and they would never get pregnant. My human’s observation was it didn’t work well. Three of five had white shotguns at their weddings.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha! Now that’s funny. I’ve never seen a “white shotgun,” but I get the idea.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t figured out if there is a way to insert an emoticon – which in of itself contributes to the premise (in my thoughts) behind this post….But if I could, the emoticon would be giving you an animated thumbs up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha!Ha! This brilliant
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this post (no real surprise as I love your blog). And love the picture. There is something wrong when we try and insist that bad is really good. There is nothing wrong with calling a lemon a lemon. It is what it is. Thanks for speaking so honestly and truthfully here. It is very appreciated.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Denial is The Nile, a river of tears.
When life hands us a bunch of lemons, the best thing to do is to give those lemons with someone who has sugar and water. There is always someone who wants something for nothing, and if you are lucky, maybe they will share some of their lemonade. God does bless a cheerful giver.
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL! I love that, Tom. Give the lemons away! That’s what we do with zucchini and rhubarb in these parts. God loves a cheerful giver indeed and when you are over run with unwanted produce….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Super. I have an upcoming short post on quotes- do check in when the time comes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reminds me of James 1: Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various lemons. LOL
Becky
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! James always gets it right š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! I actually got one a lemon from the food bank last week – Ha! I pondered that exact question for a few days until I remembered that the hoity-toity always have a wedge of fresh lemon in their designer water. So I threw some ice in a glass filled it with tap water cut a slice of lemon to put in it and pretended I was Nouveau Riche. It tasted good. š
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ha! Very clever, Paul. Lemon water is very good for you, too.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Pingback: My Article Read (5-3-2016) – My Daily Musing
Hahahaha… I just wanted to suggest what Paul said. You made me laugh but also think about the quotes (as I have used all of them too before)… Thanks for that š
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: My Picks Of The Week #20 | A Momma's View
I’m one of those weirdos that likes the taste of lemons. I know… I’m strange that way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You made me ponder over my blog subtitle now š
What to do with the lemons that life gives you will always be the question. People would come up with their own answers based on perception, sometimes too weird to be acceptable – well that’s how they would like it.
The more fundamental question is why does life only give lemons, why not orange, mango or banana for that shake (pun intended). I chuckled after reading your post. It cracks me up everytime š
LikeLiked by 1 person