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Carrots are a treat you sometimes bring horses, an affirmation so they will come over and hang out with you. Carrots are a way of saying there’s something in it for them, and helping to associate you with something positive, with a reward.

I have to tell you, I seem to be totally lacking carrots in my life. Seriously, completely devoid of carrots in all areas. I was lamenting this lack of carrot-tude with the Lord the other day. Good grief, it has really gotten ridiculous. People these days are very good at heaping on scorn, complaints, criticism, but very stingy with the carrots.

My work called trying to get me to work last weekend. What do I get out of the deal? Over time. The problem with over time is that it puts me in a higher tax bracket and makes my pay checks smaller. “But on paper you’ve made more money,” they announced cheerfully. Well, call me crazy, but I just don’t want a paper carrot! What’s with that? Is that like a virtual carrot or something?

There’s a blogger that has kicked me out, wants me to apologize, change my alleged bad thought before I leave any comments on his site. Somewhat amusing, there are more than 58 million blogs on WP, just where’s my carrot here? Surely the guy doesn’t believe that being allowed to comment and his little blog is some kind of carrot? He does, he thinks he is the carrot. Dude, you are so not a carrot.

Sadly, I tried to clean our floors yesterday, but in a matter of moments the muddy dog was in the house, a pot of dirt went flying, and someone spilled their coffee. So now my floors look worse than they did before I began, so no carrot there. Learned helplessness is just starting to set in when to comes to cleaning.

Some people don’t seem to understand how carrots work. Like if you yell at someone and condemn them to eternal damnation in the fires of global warming hell, where’s the carrot? We’re now operating in the realm of negative numbers. Someone must work very hard just to reach up to your zero. Zero however, is not actually a number. What do I get out of the deal? A zero. You can’t ever please someone who thinks you’re already below zero.

There are rules people, carrot rules.

Carrots are kind of important. I am all about the nature of sacrificial love, of doing right without any kind of reward, but one simply cannot run their entire life that way. There must be some carrots hidden somewhere or else eventually you will just look across the pasture and ask, why bother? Why expend the energy actually walking over towards the fence? There’s no carrot there.