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All, in good fun here, but spam can be kind of amusing. Most of the time I just dump it, but sometimes it catches my eye. I’m especially fond of the nonsensical romantic kind, the poetic words of love that really make no sense. The potholes of our love have pierced deeply, is there anyway you can remove this service?

I have no idea what that even means, but I do enjoy words. I also have no idea what these people are even selling. Some of my favorites are the poor language translations, of the “all your base are belong to us” sort.

My spam has gotten quite critical this week, downright abusive really. You know you have truly gone over the edge when you start talking back to your own spam.

So Spidey comes along and says, “The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.”

I think what amused me here is that this little bit of praise was attached to a Good Friday post. Spiderman, as awesome as he is, just has nothing on Jesus Christ when it comes to saving the world. I sense a bit of wounded Spidey pride in this complaint.

So I’m the one whining and seeking attention?? I suppose Spiderman has not seen his own self lately. I rather liked him as a somewhat nerdy, angst ridden teen, struggling with feelings of inadequacy and rejection. It has taken him nearly 50 years to grow up and truthfully I just don’t like what he’s become. At one point in time, he wrestled with things like being misunderstood and persecuted by the very public that he swore to protect. Now he’s just like a 53 year old jerk still in college, wallowing in his own perceived victim hood and feelings of persecution. That’s cute when you’re 17. It’s downright pathetic when you’re 53.

So next Mark the Spammer comes along and informs me, “I hate to burst your bubble, but browsing in private or incognito mode or simply clearing your cache, cookies and history doesn’t actually clear out all that “adult” stuff you were viewing…..”

Well Mark, the first thing I got to tell you is that I am completely shameless. Darn near impervious really, as in I just don’t give a crap. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, because you seem to be implying that morality comes from our ability and capacity to live a double life. So in your view the problem isn’t that I might spend my entire life pursuing porn sites, but rather that I might get caught doing it. Naturally you have a product that will protect me from the endless shame of being spied on and eventually exposed.

Mark, have you ever considered a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? He is a person not a product, but I have to say He is the ultimate cure for both shame and trying to lead a double life.

Also, not to quibble here, but I think spying on people’s internet activities, engaging in gossip, threatening to expose them, these sins all start to grow and multiply and become so hugely damaging, I’ve completely forgotten about the horror of “adult sites”. I call that a “sin plea bargain” as in, Lord, don’t judge me for my gossip, my lack of respect for human dignity, my invasion of privacy, my judgements and condemnation, go judge that other guy for his porn addiction. He’s the one with the problem, not me!

All in good humor here Mark, but I hate to burst your bubble? What bubble?? Spiderman, my hero, has proven himself to be a perpetual teen ager trapped in a  53 old body and he apparently hates me.  And you, you seem to believe I’m a porn addict living a double life. Just where is the bubble in all this?

Trust me, someone who spends a lovely Thursday morning talking back to the potted meat products lurking in my basement, is probably way past the point of burst bubbles and potential shame buttons. If you want to get my attention, just try tossing chocolate at me. Works every time.

milkey way