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facebook, honor, insanitybytes, love, opinion, relationships, respect, women
I could say a lot of cynical and sarcastic things here, observe the irony, engage in some gallows humor, attack the messenger, and generally engage in some frolicking good times, but several commenters on facebook have already beat me to it.
I wish I could tell you that I would never do such things, that I am virtuous and good, willing to overlook everyone’s flaws rather than to engage in ridicule and mockery, but it just isn’t true. I love to vent and blow off some steam, especially when it comes to cultural icons, politicians, and prosperity preachers. That’s not all bad, a bit of irreverence is good for the soul, especially if one is counter-acting the reverence sometimes invested in mere men. I mean, for crying our loud come on down off that pedastal and join the mere mortals….
Just the same there is something to be said for putting away such childish things now and then, for letting go of one’s sarcasm and for simply taking the message on face value. TD Jakes is quite right in this little diddy, one cannot sow disrespect and reap honor. Sometimes it sure looks that way in the world, it appears to be true, as if people are rewarded for such things, as if the more disrespect you sow, the greater the harvest you will reap.
But is it true? I think not. I think our souls know the truth. I think some part of us somewhere, gets it, realizes that the world is broken, that human beings are deeply flawed, that often practicing virtue comes with an obvious price, not an obvious reward. Do we really reap what we sow? Or is cultivating honor and showing respect more likely to just get you kicked in the head?
I can’t answer that outside the context of faith, because there are some genuine worldly benefits to acting like a complete lunkhead. If one is going to be conformed to the world, then one is going to observe that virtue is not often rewarded, except perhaps in your soul, in storing treasures up in heaven, in making the world a better place. In terms of personal worldly gain, not so much.
In the context of love however, I think the idea that we can sow respect and therefore cultivate honor is a good principle to hang onto. People have a mysterious way of often living up to our expectations, so you sow some respect, cultivate your own honor and conversely theirs, too. Or at least you try. The trying is everything. It doesn’t always work out, but you try.
When it comes to romance, love, marriage, “sow respect, reap honor” really does work. Something that’s gone a bit awry in the world is showing one another respect, being kind, overlooking flaws. Women hold a special kind of power here, we have an important role in creating the truth and reality behind, “sow respect, reap honor.”
Also, let me toot the feminine horn here and mention that ain’t always so easy! It takes some genuine strength, a strong stomach, and some amazing rose colored glasses.
See, there's this thing called biology... 
It ain’t easy at all, that’s for sure! You are so right that being a jerk often brings a lot of worldly benefits while trying to do right gets a kick in the head.
My cynicism can get the best of me at times; it’s when I find myself putting down others for the very behavior I am now doing that the reality check lightbulb goes off. Not always, unfortunately.
How does the saying go? Be kind, everyone is always going through something.
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Oh, good point, Tricia! If one is going to engage in some cynicism, we have to be careful that pointing fingers at others doesn’t mean there are three fingers now pointing back at us.
We really do reap what we sow in that situation. There were a lot of snide comments about TD Jakes on FB and while I empathize, people were missing out on the beauty and wisdom in his words. Sowing disrespect all over him as if that somehow shows our own superior virtue. Somewhat amusing in it’s foolishness I suppose, but revealing.
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There are so many things about our culture/politics, etc..now that are quite amusing, yet disturbing and revealing at the same time. Like you said, we must keep on trying to do better! 🙂
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Hmmm. a very diaphanous concept IB. Personally, I agree with you, except where you say it sometimes doesn’t work. I think it always works,but is seldom used to actualize. In other words, when you treat someone with respect and they continue to abuse you – it isn’t because they have failed to recognize the respect and to honor you in their head. It is because they don’t believe that it should change their behavior. The trick is to convince them that it is OK to show honor and respect and use it as a basis to determine behavior.
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“It is because they don’t believe that it should change their behavior.”
Yes. Unfortunately one cannot simply throw tea cups at their head. Well, at least not on the internet. I’m not opposed to the idea in real life however. Just punch them and go get ice cream. 😉
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Bwahaha! It seems the most logical thing to do, doesn’t it?
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Wonderful post! I totally agree and especially here:
If one is going to be conformed to the world, then one is going to observe that virtue is not often rewarded, except perhaps in your soul, in storing treasures up in heaven,…
And thank God, the one who knows all things declares – what shall it profit anyone, to gain the whole world (worldly rewards for sowing dishonor, discord, discontentment) and end up losing his soul (one must lose something in such a process).
I think even the hardened unbeliever will & must agree everyone eventually reaps what they sow. It’s just the natural law of sowing & reaping that cannot be changed. And unfortunately because all living things are connected, we sometimes reap the whirlwind when others have sown un/knowingly to the flesh.
(for he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature; sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction)… contrast this with storing up treasures in heaven…
love this post, thank you.
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Oh, thank you for elaborating on this so well. I love your comment, that’s exactly what I was thinking of.
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In the end, it’s God’s glory that matters. That is not meant to come across as condescending or arrogant or anything like that, but seriously….to whom do we offer the glory? We are told not to put our faith in man. I guess that goes for women too. However, we all need to develop friendships, and if your anything like me you have too few. I am riddled with sin, but that does not mean we cannot be all saved if we choose to bow to Our Lord and Savior.
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Amen! People are important, friendships are valuable, but they are just the frosting on the cake. God gets the glory and He is the One worthy of putting our faith in.
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IB:
The problem is that our culture has degenerated beyond what you and Jakes are saying. We’ve largely reached a point where virtue and doing the right thing is not only not rewarded or appreciated; it’s not wanted or welcomed in the first place. Most people today categorically do NOT ‘live up to our expectations’. Our culture has no expectations—at least not positive ones—and self-improvement is something no one wants to be suspected of engaging in. The majority—as nearly as I can tell—don’t know the difference between right and wrong and could care less.
“Virtue is not often rewarded, except to your soul; laying up treasures in Heaven or making the world a better place.” And there’s the conundrum. I don’t see much evidence that the world better place at all; and to be honest, my soul doesn’t feel any better about doing anything positive. That’s the problem: Trying—in fact, even succeeding—doesn’t accomplish anything. It’s like the story of Hercules fighting the Hydra with a new twist. In the old story, the Hydra was a monster with 50 heads terrorizing and killing the populace; but no one could kill it because two new heads would grow where a champion cut off one. Hercules solved the problem by using a torch to cauterize the wounds and keep new heads from growing.
But today, torches would be banned and Hercules would be fighting for his own survival while the people he tried to protect stand on the sidelines and call him a loser and debate about whether torches cause air pollution; or whether Hydras aren’t a valuable part of the ecosystem—but Hercules is only an expendable male so who cares about him anyway—lol
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My heart aches for all the men who are hurting, Eric. I know how many suffer from the changes within our culture. These things are not new however, even Jesus Christ Himself had the villagers trying to hurl Him off a cliff the first time He spoke in His hometown. Look at what happened to nearly all of the disciples, too.
Our founding fathers also suffered greatly for what they believed in, for the ideals they worked so hard to try to bring to fruition.
The times we live in, the changes within the culture, the lack of support from others, these things are just background noise, as old as time itself. They are to be expected.
Hydra is a myth, a legend, but Jesus Christ is risen and seated at the right hand of the Father. “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?……Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”
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God invites us to participate in becoming more fully human – moving toward what He intended when he made man. Pursuing virtue is that – a way to become more fully human. Virtuous people produce a more virtuous culture and non-virtuous people produce the opposite. We should strive for virtue – prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance – because it’s a way to love God and our neighbors. That some of our neighbors don’t appreciate it doesn’t matter. We should still cooperate with forming our souls into the shape God intended because it honors Him and brings Him glory. It’s not that we sow respect to reap honor. It’s that it’s objectively right to sow respect in the sense that all people are made in the image of God and we respect that in them. Being honorable isn’t a perception of other people, but an objective reality about a person. In the sense that other people will honor us if we are respectful, not necessarily. In the sense that we are actually being honorable when we respect others, yes.
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Thanks for the encouraging word. I agree that unappreciative people and evil fighting good have always been around. What I see as different in our culture is that good is not simply unrewarded or persecuted—it’s actually that there’s a sense of Alienation that goes with it. I don’t think that most people today consciously reject good and choose evil; I think that it doesn’t matter to anybody whether good or evil is predominant or not. As far as I can tell, the majority of people define ‘good’ as whatever gives them access to cheap and easy sex; a steady supply of narcotics; and that their actions and beliefs conform with the general consensus of the herd. Evil is anything that contradicts their Narcissism and sense of entitlement.
IOW, things like ‘sowing respect’ and ‘holding high standards’ are things that most people in our culture can’t even relate to; let alone be influenced by them. I can’t relate to them or their culture either. A great metaphor happened here over Easter. Our City banned the term ‘Easter’ because such Christian connotations are ‘offensive’. Nonetheless they held festivities for children at playground—which they’ve named in honor of a homosexual pederast who was the first ‘openly gay’ State Senator.
And the populace doesn’t mind because nobody thinks there’s any difference between Jesus and that Senator. THAT is an example of what I mean. In this culture, a hero and a bum are the same thing. Things like respect and love are Entitlements—not anything anybody has to earn. People who try to earn those things are seen as arrogant, trying to get above everybody else. They make people feel uncomfortable by trying to do better.
Therein lies the problem. The values and beliefs we represent and are fighting for are part of a culture that no longer exists. We can’t conform to the new culture and the old one is dead.
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You’ve described the 9th circuit of hell very well, Eric, and why I call myself insanity bytes. That stuff will make you half crazy and mess with your head. I hear you, it’s really dark out there.
“We can’t conform to the new culture and the old one is dead.”
I know, right? I often feel that way too. The thing to remember is that you are not alone, there are millions of us who feel the same way.
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IB, You must have been inside my head today. Just scheduled a post about this scheduled for tomorrow. I wasn’t aware of the dust-up around Jakes (and I’m not on FB anymore), but what he says makes sense to me. (Lots of folks may say they’re voting for DT, but I doubt if they hold him in high esteem or honor.) I agree with your other commenters; being respectful isn’t done for our own sake, but for the sake of God’s glory and honor.
Great post.
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Awesome! Great minds think alike. I look forward to reading your post. 😉
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Great post IB! Amen…bit unnerving knowing something is always being “sown”.
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Reblogged this on Citizen Tom and commented:
One of the most popular forms of entertainment is the sitcom. Often the comedy is provided in the form of biting putdowns. That is, each cast member is given cutting lines which they use to pronounce their judgement on the morals and conduct of the other character in the sitcom. Unfortunately, we imitate what we see others do, even when they are just pretending.
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