I have to take a moment to laugh, I mean I call this place the 9th circuit of hell for good reason. It is totally like being a Mad Alice trapped in Twisted Wonderland where up is down and down is up and somebody wearing a loin cloth with a bone through his nose really can walk up to you and accuse you of being delusional and weird. Than there was the Man in the Black Trench Coat that came down the alley and scooped up a dead crow, tucked it in his pocket, and simply walked off into the fog as if this were perfectly normal.
I really need to stop people watching. It’s just not a healthy activity around here.
It is not as if I am always reasonable myself. A homeless pigeon higher than a kite but also suffering some kind of organic brain issue, got a bit snippy with me last week and started saying something about having a shank, which I suspect was probably really just a plastic spoon, but I didn’t care. I was ready to take her and her spoon on right then and there. It didn’t come out very aggressive however, it sounded more like the pathetic cry of a woman already over the edge. Go ahead lady, bring it on. Kill me now and I won’t have to go to work.
I meant it too, and she wasn’t expecting it at all. I actually scared the crap out of her, which than made me laugh like a mad woman, which really rattled her cage, caused her to back up, and run down the street in terror. Than I actually felt guilty! Here I am scaring some poor woman who just wants to get high all day and threaten to shank random strangers. I mean who can blame her? I empathize deeply there.
No seriously, I felt guilty for snapping at her. Since this is the land of bleeding hearts, naturally I also got several dirty looks from people who wouldn’t get their own hands dirty if you paid them, but they can shame everyone else for allegedly not showing enough compassion. I should have just shanked my own self right then and there andΒ provided a proper spectacle.
I really am trying to maintain a good attitude, but this stuff just gets on my last nerve sometimes. I am doing my best to pull silk purses out of sow’s ears, over and over again, but it is not easy. At the coffee shop however, we did spot this odd thing in the sky that might have been cloud or a remnant of a jet, but it just didn’t look right.
“Chemtrail,” said one man. “Asteroid,” said another. “It could be a missile from North Korea,” said the last one, right before Fluffy Bunny, a remnant of hippy days gone by, says in her little girl voice, “I think it’s a beautiful unicorn that wants to sprinkle us with chi.” Of course you do. Of course, it’s probably just a chi unicorn. Why didn’t I think of that?
Then this nerdy guy looks at me sadly and says, “Space debris. Old satellites. They’re the size of school buses and there are hundreds of them up there. Nasa says most of them will land in the ocean.” Then he says, “Too bad we live so close to the ocean.”
“Space debris?” I quizzed.
“Yep, if one of those school buses lands on your head, you’re dead,” he said, and a certain gleam came to his eye, as if the possibility of my getting crushed by a school bus-sized piece of space debris was the most encouraging thought he’d had all day.
Believe it or not, his excitement was infectious, becasue by the time the day was done, I too found the idea of getting squished by a long dead satellite rather encouraging.
The V Pub said:
I can only imagine what a bummer it would be to have a space bus land on you during a once in a lifetime ocean cruise. π
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! That would be a bummer.
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Matthias Johnson said:
Love the squirrel pic
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silenceofmind said:
If our civilization weren’t crashing down around our ears I would have supposed that this post was a collection of quirky, humorous fiction.
Since I had to leave the bunker (the jobs disappeared from around here like a spring thunderstorm) I figured the next best place to live was were on the first unofficial day of spring (for us, that’s when the temperature hits 90 for the first time) everyone, kids included, in the neighborhood was out mowing their lawns, trimming their flower beds…
… and the mailman comes to the door with a smile, to deliver a package.
He exclaimed that yesterday was temperature record, 92 degrees!
In my best preacher voice, I proclaimed, “You have now lived a full life!”
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! My father liked to say that to people, “you have now lived a full life.”
This really is an odd neck of the wood. We’re being flooded by new people, retirees, the homeless, travelers, and few people really understand why they come here. There’s no jobs, no housing, and the weather is bad.
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silenceofmind said:
I think it’s long past time to rev up “Teh Twilight Zone” music.
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dawnlizjones said:
Forgive, but your perspective just made me giggle and smile. I would love to know the backstory. God BLESS your day, and His reason for your being there!
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dawnlizjones said:
And PS, if we all dive for the bunkers, I wouldn’t mind being in yours…
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Thank you for reading and for your kind words. I’d be honored to share a bunker with you.
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Julie said:
Thanks for the laugh.
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Fromscratchmom said:
Cheer up. You are loved. Not meaningless platitude, just sincere reminder. I totally get where you are and I think we all go there for real reasons.
I recently had some encouraging developments amidst all the brokenness in this life. So I’ll spread some of the sunshine over to you. π
My soon-to-be-ex has been growling and trying to control and manipulate all things financial. And it does have some effect on me still after 18+ years of him. But for several years before he walked out I’d been doing a lot of healing and growing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And since he decamped I’ve been leaning on the Lord more than ever before and he’s been putting things right in my head and in my heart that he had waited till this timing to set right.
So in the face of the most recent manipulation attempt, I went to the IRS and got tax return printouts and w2 copies for three different years that my lawyer had requested of the ex but the “ex” had decided to balk about (and growl and cuss at me and call my lawyer vicious fowl names.) I’m so psyched that I did that! I even dropped it all off at my lawyer’s office already and had it added to my file there! YaY. It turned out to be fairly easy and incredibly fast to deal with. I had felt hesitant and worried and road blocked and incapable about it when I first got the idea that I ought to be able to get access to that myself rather than relying on or waiting for “that man” or letting him get away with balking and controlling that information for his own purposes. So I just kept praying and telling myself that it seemed like it should be possible, maybe it would be do-able, maybe I could accomplish it somehow, until I finally felt strong enough to make it an action! And now I’m crazy thrilled that I DID IT! I was triumphant! What’s-his-name growls and cusses and generally behaves like a cretin. But I am healing from all of his 18+ years of psychological warfare. He cannot hold me down or control me anymore! Hallelujah!!!
He may be a cretin. But I will wait on the Lord. And then I will rise up on wings like eagles!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yayyy! Congratulations on being brave and thanks for sharing your good news, because I love to hear what’s going on in people’s lives. That always cheers me up.
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Rebecca LuElla Miller said:
Laughing here.
dawnlizjones wins the Best Comment Ever category: “if we all dive for the bunkers, I wouldnβt mind being in yours⦔
π
Becky
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Citizen Tom said:
I use to track space debris. So when I saw the title I had to see what it was about. She is talking about that?
In my military days, I had a job at NORAD. To separate Russian missile launches and spacecraft from all the debris, we had to track the debris too. We also tracked it just on the off chance a piece of debris might hit the space shuttle. Occasionally, when it looked like something might get too close, the shuttle did a little maneuver to stay out of the way.
Most of the debris is just rocket bodies. The rocket bodies are big, but empty fuel tanks. Mostly they just burn up. They move through the atmosphere so fast they just heat up and oxidize.
There are a few large satellites that are dense enough that some portion survives reentry. Near the end of life the operators will plan one last maneuver. Instead of trying to keep the satellite on station, the operators will try to dump it in the ocean.
Anyway, even though the earth contains over seven billion of us the chance of being hit by a falling satellite is low. When was the last time you heard of a satellite falling on someone. I would be more worried about being crushed by a piano falling out of a tall building. The nerdy guy was just pulling your leg, of course.
Glad the homeless pigeon higher than a kite did not stab you with her plastic spoon. You could get lice wrestling with someone like that.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Thanks, Tom, how interesting! Also, it’s reassuring to know most of the space junk will likely just burn up before it hits. I’d forgotten about that part.
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Maria Tatham, a gentle iconoclast said:
wow! I don’t know exactly what to say except that it is more amazing than fiction and I enjoyed it, not that you should be accosted or looked at in this way, but that you are safe in such a world. Never have seen space debrie but loads of chemtrails crisscrossing a bright day sky.
God bless you, IB!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thanks for the blessings, Maria.
They do say truth is stranger than fiction. It often seems that way to me. π
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Maria Tatham, a gentle iconoclast said:
me too! :0)
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Paul said:
Bwahahaha! Love the interaction in the alley. People are so funny. When you are doing God’s work, you just know people will not understand – they assume you want something from them or you worked hard to get where you are and have something to protect. Ha! When I was doing an MBA at God’s behest I got involved in university politics – sigh, the profs came to me to spill their stories of verbal, psychological, and physical abuse from the administration. In the big picture before I was done the program both the MBA Executive Director and the Dean of the School of Business and all their croonies had been swept out the door. Anyway, part way through this whole escapade, I started getting calls at home from the university administration threatening me with expulsion if I didn’t back off. My part in this was to organize and encourage the profs to go public – which they did, God bless their souls , they were scared stiff. Anyway i was told that if I kept meeting with staff I would be tossed from the program that I paid $60 K to get into, and blackballed. I laughed so hard at them they got scared. I told them to go ahead and expel me for meeting with staff – I was probably the only MBA student they had (and there were about 250 of us per year scattered around the world – most taught by video conferencing) that was not in the program to get an MBA. They had never met a student before who was not there to get a degree. In fact I suspect they thought that i might be a plant by some organization, perhaps regulatory, to catch them being abusive. I didn’t mention that God had sent me – http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2014/11/06/serendipity-guest-post-by-paul-curran/ – I let them use their imaginations. It was so funny IB, not only did they back off but they started treating me with kid gloves – I passed the course. Bwahahaha!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! I remember that tale, Paul. Love it! It is great fun to turn the tables on people, isn’t it? If “God says,” if He has His hand on us, we do become unstoppable.
I like what you said about people always assuming you have something to protect. I guess once you’ve had a close encounter of the God-kind, it really puts “what am I protecting here,” in the proper perspective. It’s like, “the Creator of the universe has just seriously rattled my cage and left me rather unconcerned about what the rest of you might do to me.” π
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Paul said:
Exactly! π
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