, , , , , , ,

For those who don’t know, the FBI has asked Apple to help them crack into a cellphone belonging to one of the shooters in the San Bernardino terrorist attack. Actually the FBI seldom “asks” for anything, they have demanded that Apple assist them. As far as I can tell, Apple has complied and provided them with Apple engineers and advisers. Now however, it appears as if the FBI actually wants Apple to write in a backdoor code for all iphones. The case is headed to court on March 22. Here is Apple’s response to the situation.

Now forgive me my snarky cynicism here, but I think this is just a fabulous idea! All our devices, cellphones, laptops, computers should have a built in back door left unlocked just in case the “good guys” ever need to access our information and data. Heck, we should also do that with our homes, just leave a side door unlocked in case any medics or firemen ever need to get in. Cars too, let’s build in a program that allows us to open the door and start the engine, just in case we ever lose our keys.

Seems completely reasonable to me. All things digital should have a built in fail safe, an easily accessible code that allows us to bypass security measures. We should compel all our big techie companies to leave a backdoor open and to reveal it to the government. That way, banks, the stock  market, our entire financial house of digital cards, will be safe because we will know the good guys have the keys…just in case we ever forget a password or something.

What could possibly go wrong here? I mean, I’m sure only the good guys would ever use it and than only with the utmost integrity. You can feel confident leaving your side door unlocked at your house,  just post a note by your front door informing everyone that your back door is open, but this is a Bad Guy Free Zone. Bad guys like signs like that, it reminds them to follow the rules.

Sigh. Actually, if the FBI truly wanted to get into  that phone, they would simply locate themselves a teenager or a disgruntled girlfriend somewhere and she’d have it cracked in no time. Girlfriends be good at social engineering. Hell hath no fury, right? Or, if they would prefer a slightly less hysterical and less emotionally driven option, the FBI could simply avail themselves of one of the hundreds of thousands of people who simply play with codes and back doors as a hobby. Mostly people who just love a good riddle, who feel challenged by learning how to scale a good metaphorical wall. All “walls” are metaphorical, aren’t they?

Naturally we’ll only give the keys to the castle to the good guys in our government and human nature being what it is, they will never get stolen, copied, misplaced…. or sold on the black market somewhere.

Some people may not understand my concern, I mean who cares, right? All I’ve got on my phone is some music and snarky cat pictures. I have nothing to hide! Me neither, not really, actually I haven’t got a phone at all, but just ponder the world we live in today, a digital world where our entire lives really exist in cyberspace. Government, banking, security, industry, business,medicine….

If you aren’t having an anxiety attack, you aren’t paying attention.