I have this powerful aversion to gossip, to mean-spiritness, to invading privacy, to failing to recognize human dignity, all boundary violations. This stuff seriously ticks me off.
In a small town, you can really sit back and observe what a powerful and devastating force gossip can be. It tears apart families, it ruins marriages, it destroys businesses, it can even drive people away from faith and cause suicides. The juxtaposition between uttering a few “harmless” words almost “innocently,” versus how they can snowball down a hill, like an avalanche wiping out everything in it’s path, just astounds me.
There’s that old game where you whisper something in someone’s ear, and they whisper it in their neighbor’s ear, and it gets passed down the line, until at the end it isn’t even recognizable. What begins as a simple phrase, picks up everyone’s subjective interpretation of it, and often grows and transforms, until it no longer resembles the original.
So having this powerful aversion to gossip, it’s somewhat amusing to be pondering the importance of “sticking one’s nose in other people’s business.” It’s the intent behind it that is important, the spirit in which it is done, the basic respect for human dignity.
This area I live in used to have more of a community spirit, we were concerned about our neighbor’s well being. Yes, we were a bit nosey, but if your car broke down, half a dozen people would stop to offer assistance. People would come calling if they heard you were sick or down on your luck. It was never Mayberry, but often Aunt Bea would show up with a jar of jam. In the past few decades, the demographics have really shifted, many people moved here from other areas, and everyone is a stranger now, a potential enemy even. Times change, culture changes, power ebbs and flows.
At some point we went from, “howdy neighbor” to “I don’t like those kind of people. You know how they are.” Sometimes it feels a bit like invasion, like being a conquered people. Yesterday a woman was on the street corner begging for donations with a sign that said, “help a LOCAL woman out.” That spirit of having been invaded, conquered, rejected, and cast aside, really permeates this area.
Rejected, cast aside, that’s the spirit, the root of the despair I see about these parts. People have become very walled off, isolated, defensive. Gossip runs rampant under these conditions because nobody is communicating with one another on an individual level. Instead, people make huge assumptions, often false. I suppose that is what lurks behind things like racism, like oppression, like cultural clashes, this inability or unwillingness to get to know people on an individual level, to “stick your nose in their business,” with a bit of humility and a genuine desire to get to know your neighbors.
So I pray for those walls to come tumbling down, I pray for a sense of community to be re-established, I pray for unity within the Body of Christ about these parts, and for Christians to stand up and lead the way.
janjoy52 said:
I hear you. I know as we join Christ’s High Priestly prayer in John 17, our Father hears us. The Holy Spirit is anointing His Bride with fresh fire and a new heart. This is the year for harvest and a new passion for God and the lost. I have been very encouraged by the visions and words of faith coming from Elijahlist.com. The Lord would have us claim territories and uproot strongholds taken over by Satan. We have every reason to be bold and outrageous in our love and faith. Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might. The JOY OF THE LORD is our strength.
God bless you!
Jan
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! Thank you for those lovely words, they are much appreciated. 😉
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joyindestructible said:
We might need to start by creating healthy boundaries around our use of technology. It’s hard to establish relationships when so many of us never look up to make eye contact. I mean…my town is dying too because everyone I know moved to Face Book.:0(
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insanitybytes22 said:
That is sure a good point. My town is also dying in part because everyone has moved to FB or their smart phones.
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joyindestructible said:
Our toys are taking a serious toll on our relationships. It’s almost as if people are walking around with black boxes on their heads totally immersed in their own virtual world.
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Rajiv said:
I think that the lure of gossip is generally hard to resist
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insanitybytes22 said:
I think you are right. Often people try to lift their own selves up by putting down others or try to add a little excitement to their life by immersing in some drama. These things are all understandable, but just the same, we could do so much better if we tried. Kind of funny, but often the truth is far more interesting and dramatic than what we imagine,speculate, or assume to be true.
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Rajiv said:
You are absolutely correct
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john zande said:
There’s that old game where you whisper something in someone’s ear, and they whisper it in their neighbor’s ear, and it gets passed down the line, until at the end it isn’t even recognizable. What begins as a simple phrase, picks up everyone’s subjective interpretation of it, and often grows and transforms, until it no longer resembles the original.
You mean, like religion? 😉
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yes Zande, sometimes. Often one of the hardest things for people to do is to let go of all the false teachings, distorted scripture, and false perceptions they have about Jesus Christ and about the bible itself.
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john zande said:
Well, I was thinking more the Pentateuch side of things…. 😉
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atimetoshare said:
So true. We have become caccooned in the safety of our own homes, partly because we’re so busy, partly because we work at home and don’t venture out as much, partly because the sense of community has shrunk to include only those we trust. Too bad really.
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insanitybytes22 said:
It really is such a shame, isn’t it? The consequences are devastating and often it seems as if no one even notices. I suppose in some areas where churches are really thriving, they’ve created a little oasis for themselves, but for many of us, it’s just like stumbling around in the desert.
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atimetoshare said:
Amen.
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Ellie www.newcreationsministries.wordpress.com/ said:
Love it! You always have a way of getting to the root of the challenge with such insight. Great post! Blessings,
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Wally Fry said:
Good one IB, well said and vivid as usual. I guess I should spend a lot more time counting the blessings I have instead of carping about the ones I don’t. Okay..people gossip about me. I know they do. A person can’t be trying to actually do things without that happening. So, I understand that. But, really, compared to what we do have in my community, at least in my church, the blessings far outweigh the cursings. I know my church family is watching me and my life like a hawk. Not because they are looking to do bad for the most part, but because they are looking out for us. I have so many people who would ride to my rescue I can’t even count them. The kind of people where you say..Hey, I need__________ and the answer is yes before you even say what the need is. The response is never “what do you need”, but where and when do you need it. If I ever have to leave town for a few days, which is fairly rare, but if I do I know there are folks watching over my family who would take care of them just like I would.
Example. Okay, sexist and archaic as it is, we still have men who can’t fend for themselves as in eating LOL. So, when some wife is temporarily debilitated guess how they get fed? Yep. Other families. I see that a lot when it’s a man with kids who works long hours. We take care of them. Are you old and can’t take care of your yard anymore? We probably have the covered. Need some work done that you don’t know how to do? Probably is a person who does know how. Someday they will need you.
When I lived in the suburbs it was not like that. People drove home from work, pulled in their garages, and disappeared. Here, I know all of my neighbors, even the ones I don’t like(and vice versa). And you know what? Even thought we might not like each other? If we looked out the window and the house was on fire, we’d all come running with buckets.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen, Wally! That’s how it’s supposed to be, imperfect and flawed of course, but the ideal is there. I’m glad you know what I’m talking about, that you’re living what I’m talking about, because it’s comforting to know that such things are possible. I loved the story you told about not showing up in church…..so people came looking for you. That’s the spirit, that’s what I want to see 😉
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Wally Fry said:
Well…like it or not to answer the question: Am I my brother’s keeper? Yes, we are. Period and end of story. It’s just not a negotiable item. It’s not something we can spin based on their conduct, or how they treat us. Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we should be pushovers and allow ourselves to be used or abused. I am not talking about eating supper with people, I am talking about extending Christian love in a practical sense. My flesh may hate the very ground you stand on, but if you are my brother or sister, I am commanded to step in during your time of need. Eeek..that’s kind of a tough pill to swallow.
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insanitybytes22 said:
That is a harsh pill to swallow, Wally, but that is the truth, that is what we are called to do. That is the kind of thinking that brings good health to a community, to a church. 😉
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SandySays1 said:
Sandy’s definition of “gossips” – Society’s rectal apertures.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Bahahaha! Something that perhaps an anti inflammatory might help? 😉
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