Oh dear. I was planning to write and explore the rather complex question of what it means to be a Godly man, with complete seriousness and all sober mindedness. Sometimes I make good plans however, and God just laughs.
So naturally, in the midst of my contemplation, what pops up but a post by Dalrock, called, “How to tell if you are a Godly Man.” Hey! That was my title.
To briefly summarize, he is once again advocating that you never listen to your wife, complaining about how some happily married Christians are doing marriage all wrong, and goes on to speak of harmful theology saying, “Part of their message is good; surrendering to God, repenting, and praying are extremely important. But this is only part of their message, and it conceals a very harmful theology.”
What harmful theology, you may ask?
“They are teaching that women are designed to respond sexually to godly husbands.”
Oh dear no, not that! Why, that’s downright appalling. Everyone knows the bible clearly instructs women to close their eyes and think of the Queen when suffering the burden of marital relations. Actually no, the bible does not say that at all, in fact the Queen wasn’t even born yet.
So Dalrock declares, “In modern Christian theology wives are closer to God than husbands are, and therefore need to periodically do or say things to threaten and/or hurt their husbands in order to bring them to heel.”
Really? I’ve never heard that anywhere, not even in the dark recesses of the intertoobz. In fact, point me to where that is happening, and hubby and I will make a delightful evening of comedic entertainment out of it. I can hear the man laughing already at the thought of being brought to heel. Actually, that’s really quite funny.
Tomassi pops in to remind everyone that the “Holy Spirit has been replaced by the feminine imperative” and it all proceeds downhill from there until we arrive at, “Modern evangelical marriage is where sex goes to die.”
Speak for yourselves gentlemen, modern Christian marriage is actually where real sex is born! Seriously, marital sex is awesome and it just gets better and better. It begins by listening to your wife, and than accepting, rejoicing, glorifying in the fact, that yes indeed, “women are designed to respond sexually to godly husbands.” Designed. By God Himself. Wonderfully and fearfully made, indeed.
Dalrock and many of the men there have thoroughly grasped the concept of how, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband,” and also of course, “wives submit.” What they have all failed to understand and read is, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Your very prayers to God will be hindered! Also… your sex life will probably suffer, too. Just saying.
So, when Pastor Dave Wilson explained how, “a man’s relationship with God is key to unlocking the mystery of marital intimacy,” he was absolutely right. That is actually sound scripture, biblical truth, and it plays out just beautifully in real life.
A man who is genuinely right with God, when all is well in His soul, is an attractive man indeed, full of confidence, brimming with spiritual youth and vigor. The same is true of wives! We are most attractive when our spirits are at rest, when we are right with God. When something is wrong, when we are not right with God, we are not going to be fully right with one another, either. Am I attractive moping about in a pair of old sweats, filled with despair and resentment? Of course not.
If a husband is not attractive to a wife, there is a problem and it requires some humility and patience to sort it all out. One flesh exists in symbiosis to one another, not in a state of shame and blame or heaven forbid, a belief that women are NOT designed to respond sexually to godly husbands. Yes we are, yes we are indeed!
I am sorry Dalrock and company, but no matter how harsh it sounds, if your wife finds you unattractive and you refuse to address the problem with some humility and compassion for her, than you deserve to have your prayers hindered. And your hinders hindered too.
Vincent S Artale Jr said:
Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog. 😉
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Vincent S Artale Jr said:
You’re very welcome!
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~Michelle Cook said:
I’m glad God had other plans for you when you went to write this one. I found this to be most entertaining. Thank God for other bloggers that help inspire such wonderful words off wisdom from you IB. I can’t get enough! Lol…
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Thank you for your kind words. I guess if we people are going to frequently indulge in foolishness, we should at least strive to make it entertaining. 😉
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~Michelle Cook said:
Lol… I guess so… sounds good to me! 😉
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Emily said:
“In modern Christian theology wives are closer to God than husbands are, and therefore need to periodically do or say things to threaten and/or hurt their husbands in order to bring them to heel”
Where does he even get this stuff from…?
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insanitybytes22 said:
I don’t know! Deep within the recesses of the human psyche somewhere?
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Autumn Grayson said:
I’ve heard on the radio someone say something like ‘husbands, your wives may be more spiritually sensitive and that’s ok.’ but I think that’s the closest I’ve ever heard 🙂
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wordsarefullofletters said:
Very thought provoking.. I like it! 🙂
I’ve written a few ones too, I hope to know what a writer like you would think of it
https://wordsarefullofletters.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/a-love-outgrown/
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the comment and the link. 😉
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Debbie L said:
Amen! I love my hawt Godly man!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! Let us rejoice and celebrate, because God is good indeed and love is a real thing in the world. 😉
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Debbie L said:
We’re so grateful and blessed we found it-the Source of His Love!
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Autumn Grayson said:
Totally agree with you. I’ve never been married, but I know that I’m really happy when my boyfriend’s happy, and the fact that he is kind to me and loves God makes it far easier for me to go out of my way to be considerate and find ways to make him happy. If he started being a complete jerk because he somehow thought that would make me more interested in him, then I would probably have to break up wih him if I couldn’t help him realize he was just hurting the relationship. I would try and do the right thing and make him happy if he ended up being a jerk, but it would be a million times harder then, and I’m not sure if I could do it. Jerkishness tends to devour my creativity for finding ways to make others happy.
But I avoid being too pushy and bossy(he wouldn’t seem happy at all if I acted like that very often), and one of the things we are both working on is helping each other understand what we need and where we’re coming from without causing problems. It’s been going pretty good so far I think, because we are both generally happy even though someone like Dalrock might assume my boyfriend couldn’t possibly be happy in such a scenario.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ah yes, not being bossy, pushy, controlling, but cultivating some gentleness, goes along ways towards softening men’s hearts and helps to preserve our own mental health as well. Men simply tend to respond better to some encouragement, praise, gratitude. I suppose we’re all jerks at some point, once in a while, but deliberately cultivating jerkiness? Doesn’t work for me. What draws me towards my husband is his awesome sense of honor, his integrity, his humility, his strength in the face of adversity. A Godly man is one who allows you to see Christ working within Him, who reflects those qualities to the best of his ability. Men are human of course and flawed, but those who can give us just a peak at their higher selves are attractive indeed.
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Autumn Grayson said:
Yep. And finding that balance has been really important for me since I’m sort of having to please both my parents and boyfriend here. My parents don’t approve of horror or screamo music, while my boyfriend likes it. I have a complicated view that’s in between my parent’s and boyfriend’s views on those things. So my parents might lecture me on how bad horror is under every circumstance, then I feel upset and like I have to change my boyfriend’s views in order to make him fully acceptable to my parents. I have to be careful to keep myself from feeling a desperate need to make my boyfriend different, while at the same time addressing issues like that that are important to both me and him. There was somewhat the same issue when it came to the hypothetical situation of whether I would move to a different city if I married my boyfriend some day. Thankfully God answered my prayers and helped things be less complicated on that front. My boyfriend ended up finding a job in the city I live in now 🙂
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insanitybytes22 said:
Oh my goodness, the poor women that would be married to men such as these, it just breaks my heart! I cannot even imagine. But it is not just the women, how sad to be a man who believes his wife must have sex with him, grudgingly, because the bible commands her to, and not because that is the secret desire of her heart, because she craves intimacy and love, closeness, the entwining of two souls the way God designed it.
We really do write our own stories….and become victims of them. At any time we have the power to change the entire narrative, to create for ourselves something that more resembles a fairy tale than a horror show. I don’t know who to grieve for more, the women trapped in these marriages or the men who deprive themselves of love.
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Eric said:
“Women are not designed to respond sexually to godly husbands.”
Statements like these are further proof that Churchian Game is not Christian at all; but copies of sexually degenerated cults like the Gnostics and Cathars. These people basically see sexuality not as a bonding on a spiritual level; but a mere physical act where women are simply tools of men’s sexual pleasure; like the lower animals, to be used for food and labor.
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