Oh dear. I was planning to write and explore the rather complex question of what it means to be a Godly man, with complete seriousness and all sober mindedness. Sometimes I make good plans however, and God just laughs.
So naturally, in the midst of my contemplation, what pops up but a post by Dalrock, called, “How to tell if you are a Godly Man.” Hey! That was my title.
To briefly summarize, he is once again advocating that you never listen to your wife, complaining about how some happily married Christians are doing marriage all wrong, and goes on to speak of harmful theology saying, “Part of their message is good; surrendering to God, repenting, and praying are extremely important. But this is only part of their message, and it conceals a very harmful theology.”
What harmful theology, you may ask?
“They are teaching that women are designed to respond sexually to godly husbands.”
Oh dear no, not that! Why, that’s downright appalling. Everyone knows the bible clearly instructs women to close their eyes and think of the Queen when suffering the burden of marital relations. Actually no, the bible does not say that at all, in fact the Queen wasn’t even born yet.
So Dalrock declares, “In modern Christian theology wives are closer to God than husbands are, and therefore need to periodically do or say things to threaten and/or hurt their husbands in order to bring them to heel.”
Really? I’ve never heard that anywhere, not even in the dark recesses of the intertoobz. In fact, point me to where that is happening, and hubby and I will make a delightful evening of comedic entertainment out of it. I can hear the man laughing already at the thought of being brought to heel. Actually, that’s really quite funny.
Tomassi pops in to remind everyone that the “Holy Spirit has been replaced by the feminine imperative” and it all proceeds downhill from there until we arrive at, “Modern evangelical marriage is where sex goes to die.”
Speak for yourselves gentlemen, modern Christian marriage is actually where real sex is born! Seriously, marital sex is awesome and it just gets better and better. It begins by listening to your wife, and than accepting, rejoicing, glorifying in the fact, that yes indeed, “women are designed to respond sexually to godly husbands.” Designed. By God Himself. Wonderfully and fearfully made, indeed.
Dalrock and many of the men there have thoroughly grasped the concept of how, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband,” and also of course, “wives submit.” What they have all failed to understand and read is, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Your very prayers to God will be hindered! Also… your sex life will probably suffer, too. Just saying.
So, when Pastor Dave Wilson explained how, “a man’s relationship with God is key to unlocking the mystery of marital intimacy,” he was absolutely right. That is actually sound scripture, biblical truth, and it plays out just beautifully in real life.
A man who is genuinely right with God, when all is well in His soul, is an attractive man indeed, full of confidence, brimming with spiritual youth and vigor. The same is true of wives! We are most attractive when our spirits are at rest, when we are right with God. When something is wrong, when we are not right with God, we are not going to be fully right with one another, either. Am I attractive moping about in a pair of old sweats, filled with despair and resentment? Of course not.
If a husband is not attractive to a wife, there is a problem and it requires some humility and patience to sort it all out. One flesh exists in symbiosis to one another, not in a state of shame and blame or heaven forbid, a belief that women are NOT designed to respond sexually to godly husbands. Yes we are, yes we are indeed!
I am sorry Dalrock and company, but no matter how harsh it sounds, if your wife finds you unattractive and you refuse to address the problem with some humility and compassion for her, than you deserve to have your prayers hindered. And your hinders hindered too.