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I have about as much use for personality tests as I do for those facebook quizzes that ask, So, what cartoon character are you?

Personality tests, psychological profiles, ink blots, all annoy me. There’s been a trend in modern times to force people like me to take these silly things to “improve customer service” or to “increase employee satisfaction” or some such nonsense. I really do try to be compliant and cooperative, but far too often this little twitch of defiance comes up.

Once I over gamed a series of questions and came out high on the sociopath/ psychopath scale, as in, this is the kind of woman you never want to put in customer service. What can I say, I am without excuse, but the questions were just so pathetically stupid, I felt compelled to have some fun with them.

I can be very intuitive, highly empathetic, and often I feel set up, trapped, forced to lie. I know perfectly well what answers people want to hear but I am alsoΒ  brutally honest. So a question like, “how do you feel about your supervisors,” puts me in an awkward position. There is complexity and depth here, we’re in the realm of feelings. Is how I feel about the person you selected to run this office even relevant to anything at all? Wait, do you mean before or after I forgave the emotionally driven, megalomaniac, control freak?

You can see the problem.

Not that anyone cares, but on the Myers-Briggs personality type I am actually an INTP. That stands for introversion, intuition, thinking, perceiving. INTP’s are one of the rationals, a Jungian archetype, sometimes called the architect. It’s a bit amusing, people often misjudge me, that is not the perception they have of me. It’s funny because one wonders if one shouldn’t perhaps apologize for disappointing.

So INTP’s have many markers, quiet, stoic, modest, aloof, masking creativity. We have a tendency to reject social niceties and to chase abstract things down rabbit holes. We tend to have few friends and social interactions drain us rather then energize us. We see the big picture, cause and effect,Β  more than the details. We tend to give more weight to logic than to feelings. P is for perception, we tend to observe and perceive without judgment. We are curious about systems and how they work, and tend to spend a great deal of time alone pondering the nature of the problem.

As if I were not already such an INTP stereotype, I came across this one sentence today that just cracked me up, “They also tend to be impatient with the bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and the politics prevalent in many professions.”

You don’t say? The very bane of my existence, I tell ya. The blight on my potato. A boil on the butt of humanity, indeed. Get rid of bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and politics, and I’d be downright employable.