An imbroglio is an extremely confused, complicated, or embarrassing situation. Another way of saying that is, a thoroughly confused heap of nonsense with an extra twist of irony. I do love a good twist of irony. Salted around the rim.
So there’s been this on going discussion across several blogs having to do with marriage, submission, and biblical values. I am actually a bit amused, because frankly I would divorce you all, and the irony there is not lost on me. What’s more entertaining than a ten way marital spat across the blogging world? Cats on a hot tin roof?
The Second irony of this imbroglio is a post from Donal called, A Failure To Communicate. What’s so funny there is that he banned me, through no fault of my own, my polite little words just happened to fall on deaf ears. Apparently the first rule of how to communicate….is to get rid of the person you are trying to communicate with. The content of his post isn’t bad, in fact I happen to agree with much of it. I’m chuckling here, because of course I can’t tell him I approve, on account of the fact that he seems to believe that communication is a one way street. Which does tend to explain why he agrees with himself so much.
The Third irony is a post from Sunshine called, “Is the problem a lack of listening or a lack of submitting?” She objects in part to my stating that “Not listening to your wife is psychological abuse.” She than introduces us to yet another pastor and his wife who are allegedly doing marriage all wrong, Pastor Wangerin and his wife, Thanne.
That comment I made suggesting that “Not listening to your wife is psychological abuse,” sprung up in reaction to a post from said Dalrock, called She only acted crazy to get her way. Dalrock’s post is a criticism of two other people’s marriage teachings, Tim and Kathy Keller. Irony Number 4, Dalrock banned me long ago, on account of the fact that he thinks all women are crazy and you shouldn’t try to communicate with us at all.
By now you are probably begging for a color coded flow chart or a Venn diagram or perhaps one of those airline vomit bags. Don’t worry, you don’t have to remember any of this. I don’t want anyone to faint from confusion, I want you to faint from laughter. Seriously, the silliness woven throughout this tangled web has caused me to inhale coffee through my nose a few times.
I shall spare you all the details of Dragonfly flitting about everywhere. Dragonfly, for those who don’t know has called me menopausal, bipolar, and declared I threatened to kill people, on account of an unfortunate reference to Arsenic and Old Lace. She did however, give a lovely performance in this thread where she says, “…. I do think it would be good if churches knew what their men and women were doing online, for those bloggers’ OWN benefit so that they aren’t getting away with doing evil…”
That’s called passive/aggressive subtexting. I laughed so hard, I sounded like a donkey. Perhaps not, perhaps it would so not be good if churches knew what their men and women were doing on line. They’d probably just pack it up, throw in the towel, and go home….
This operatic imbroglio of complete nonsense has proven three things to me. 1. Always listen to your wife. But don’t just listen to her, hear what she’s actually trying to say to you Hearing does not imply compliance or agreement, it implies you recognize the full humanity of another. 2. If you can’t even communicate civilly with strangers on the internet, you may want to develop some communication skills before you actually get married. 3. One flesh does not mean a marriage of One. Me, myself, and I is not a relationship.
Don’t play games. C-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e. Sorry, but that’s probably going to involve listening, maybe actually even hearing. Men and women can be very different, often what seems obvious and apparent to one is not apparent to another.