Tags
attraction, biology, blogging, humor, love, marriage, opinion, relationships, romance
Recently I was reading some fun marriage blogs, all about young love in the modern world. I came across one that made me laugh, “How To Properly Dress Your Husband,” and how once properly clad, to dress him up in his new outfits, take pictures, and post the fashion show of your newly transformed hubby on your blog.
For some reason I just found this to be uproariously funny. It’s the juxtaposition between who my husband is and what he would tolerate and what he would not, that really sparked my humor.
Anyway, always seeking a new way to rattle the poor man’s cage and being rather bored yesterday, I thought I would give it a try just to see what would happen. It is very important to rattle a hubby’s cage now and then, least they grow too complacent and comfortable. Always keep them guessing, hopefully not compelled to sleep with one open, just pleasantly alert.
So, once I was able to finally remove all vestiges of humor from my voice, I followed the instructions to a tee and simply announced, “Hubby, I think we should go to the mall today and get you some new duds.” He didn’t miss a beat and promptly says, “You can go to the mall today if you like, that sounds like a good idea.” Well no, “I want you to come with me so we can update your look, buy you some new clothes.” Now he’s just looking at me sideways, or perhaps with one eye on the television and one eye on me, I cannot really tell. Regardless, it is obvious he is just taking the temperature on his wife’s crazy once again. Finally he says slowly, “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
I am trying not to laugh at this point, trying desperately hard to convey that I am deadly serious here. “Well, why not?” I demand to know. Now I clearly have both eyes pointed in my direction and his full attention. “Because I don’t like the mall, I don’t want new clothes, and you are crazy,” he says.
Well I never! Crazy? Me? He’s smiling now. “Yes, totally insane,” he says. I am trying my very best to be indignant, to pout even, with varying degrees of success. Finally I manage to say, “Well you know, there are other wives who actually take their husband’s shopping, take fashion photos, and then post them on their blogs.”
He just bursts out laughing. “Now that is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time,” he says. “Are you serious??” Yes, yes I am serious! But of course I am not serious at all, in fact, I am not even certain I am really comfortable with the idea in the first place. There is just something slightly disconcerting to me about dressing a husband up a bit like a fashion accessory and posting photos of him about the intertoobz. I’m not saying it’s wrong, no judgement here, just not something that would work for me.
“No, not going to happen,” he says, still smiling. Ah yes, I didn’t think so, but at least I did have his full attention now, which really was the whole point all along.
There is the added dimension of neither one of us being too terribly concerned about fashion in the first place, although hubby sure can rock a pair of red suspenders. I found it a bit amusing that I have grown so fond of his red suspenders and just chocked it up to devotion, affection, and personal quirkiness. Apparently it is not just me, however. Recently we were in this store and a young sales girl began chatting up to hubby about his red suspenders. A few moments later she was actually straightening them, running her hands along them while I looked on, somewhat amused and somewhat compelled to NOT utter the words, “Look here girly girl, get your hands off of Grandpa’s suspenders!”
When we finally left the store, hubby quipped, “I don’t know of I want to shop here anymore, I just feel so violated.” Ha! He does not. He quite enjoyed the attention. “Are you sure these suspenders look alright?” he eventually asked me. Yes, yes, I am sure, they look better than alright, so alright that perhaps you really shouldn’t wear them out public anymore. It seems as if I am not the only one with a fondness for red suspenders.
Needless to say, I can never stop when I am ahead, so I rather foolishly trudged on. “You know, if you go to the mall with me, you could always wear your red suspenders…”
I kid you not, he actually sat up, announced that we did need to buy a few things, and he really wouldn’t mind a trip to the mall after all…
Oh, oh I see. Uh huh. The man is so lucky I am not actually a fashion blogger or he would soon find himself relegated to the accessory department.
Paul said:
Ha! I gotta get me some red suspenders. All mine are black. π¦
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
I’m so sorry Paul, but they’re going to have to be red. Although I have heard that some women rather like green ones π
LikeLike
Wally Fry said:
That’s a funny story IB!
You know, I am now a very, very, very blue collar guy. I spend 50 hours a week at least on ladders, under houses, and in attics. I get very mussed up in the course of a work day; however, I love suits. I will literally take any opportunity I can to wear a suit. In fact, I got in a fist fight in a suit once. To me, they are the perfect apparel item.
I am fairly savvy in the fashion department when it comes to men’s suits oddly enough; I have probably read John T. Malloy’s Dress For Success several dozen times. I can spot a suit faux pas from a mile away.
Here is the funny thing, though. In the 8 years I have been married to my lovely bride, I have probably not dressed myself a dozen times. Every Sunday morning, almost without fail, at some point I wander into the bedroom and there, laid out for me in perfect order is the whole array: suit, shirt, tie, undergarments and shoes even. That’s love there. And is really sweet to tell the truth.
LikeLiked by 4 people
insanitybytes22 said:
Ahh, very sweet, Wally. That is true love, indeed. My hubby wore a suit once…when we got married. π
LikeLiked by 2 people
Holistic Wayfarer said:
LOL. Suspenders can be manly and sexy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
insanitybytes22 said:
Now see, I knew I wasn’t crazy. There’s just something about suspenders, isn’t there?
LikeLike
lbeth1950 said:
My husband wears green suspenders and fishing shirts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Ah,another suspenders fan, I see. But oh, green ones, that is really rather edgy indeed π
LikeLike
lbeth1950 said:
I wouldn’t risk taking him to the mall in them. Someone would surely take him away from me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
lbeth1950 said:
Aussie Haire?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jim said:
ha ha! good post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
danadinomyte said:
I’m glad my post inspired you. (:
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
It did indeed! Very entertaining and I had great fun with it.
LikeLike
billgncs said:
Good story – I always wanted to be like Gonez Adams – have 150 suits exactly identical
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rajiv said:
When I was to get married, my dad wanted me to get on a horse… It’s an old North indian custom, dating back almost 800 years and is based on a historical event (real or imaginary, I don’t know)
Anyway, I told my dad that he was welcome to get on the horse, as the modern equivalent of a horse, is a car…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Liz said:
Cute story about your hubby, InsanityB. π
I’m a fashion-tard. My husband buys MY clothes. That might have been out of desperation on his part.
Think I chose the medical field in large part because I got to wear scrubs.
Doing a perusal to find something on dressing one’s husband I found this little nugget:
“But he canβt get the hang of the fact that you really shouldnβt wear a white shirt with beige pants.”
Bwahaha! White shirt with beige pants? What a cretin!
(surreptitiously looks into closet, throws out the white top with beige panted scrubs)
LikeLiked by 2 people
insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! Very cute. I lived in nothing but scrubs for a while and my husband really did threaten to buy me some clothes. Ha! I had no idea about white and beige. Oh dear….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Karen Van Benschoten said:
I have never been married, but you had me laughing all the way through this post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Oh good, laughter really does help to make the world go round π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: The Sunday Wrap: July 12, 2015 | The Seeker's Dungeon
Sunshine said:
Loved this post!
If women get to dress up their men, then it is only fair that the men should then have a chance to dress the women however they see fit, don’t you think? π
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! I guess there are are some husbands that really do dress their wives and do a very nice job of it.
I don’t think that would work so well at my house. Many times he has decided we suddenly need to go somewhere and will not give me two minutes to brush my hair or take my bunny slippers off. I get the distinct impression he’s not the least bit concerned about how presentable I am. Or maybe he just delights in keeping me off balance, who knows π
LikeLiked by 2 people
Mildly Concerned said:
It’s been done, with mixed results:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2536138/The-wives-husbands-choose-ALL-clothes-Would-YOU-brave-same.html
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/fashion/videos/a40547/couples-dress-each-other-video/
LikeLike
zgypsy said:
Suspenders…ANY suspenders…ANY color suspenders…ANY fabric suspenders…suspenders are SEXY!
LikeLike
insanitybytes22 said:
ROFL! Yay, another suspender fan!
I have some funny search terms that people used to find this post, so I now know we are not alone. Six people searched for “how can I make my husband wear suspenders?” And two have searched, “are suspenders sexy?”
Apparently there is a whole untapped resource for seduction here…. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Karuna said:
Funny post. I loved your story!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: The Sunday Wrap: July 19, 2015 | The Seeker's Dungeon
Pingback: The Sunday Wrap: July 26, 2015 | The Seeker's Dungeon