It kills me to say this, but Amanda Marcotte, bless her shallow and vain little heart, almost got two things right. I guess even a broken watch can be right twice a day.
Amanda, psuedo-feminist extraordinaire, who is popular for no apparent reason, wrote a piece called 4 Ways Men’s Rights Activists Actually Hurt Men.
First off, she’s almost empathizing with men. That’s a step in the right direction. She has taken the time to actually ponder some of the harm MRA’s are doing to their own selves and other men. She can’t remain in that state for long however, and soon starts speaking about how harmful some of these practices are to women. She’s right there too however, along with some of the good in the manosphere comes the bad, which is the making of some complete jerks who are given the encouragement to live out their revenge fantasies against all of womankind.
Not all mind you, but some. I know this because I’ve been on the receiving end of some of their garbage. Threats of doxing, assorted bullying, the inability to have a civil conversation, vulgar and violent references to assorted lady bits, dehumanizing all women, endless sexual rage, etc, etc. In the back on my mind I’m always thinking, oh gawd, some of these men are actually dating. Like, seeking relationships with actual women. That’s terrifying.
No wonder so many fathers just want to meet potential boyfriends at the door with a shotgun.
Amanda is correct again when she points out that women will encounter these jerks, these PUA’s who perceive women as nothing more than hits to be scored in a video game, and women will proceed to treat all future men accordingly. Yes, women’s experiences with men tend to color their future perceptions of ALL men. So Nice Guy finally comes along and she’ll just treat him like a real yahoo, like the last fool she met. Nice guys aren’t rewarded for their good behavior, they are often perceived through the eyes of every other jerk a woman has ever encountered. Fair, no, but it is what it is. Cause and effect.
Not all women mind you, but many eventually so broken and wounded they become incapable of self reflection. We have an entire ideology built around it called feminism. #allmenbad because all men she herself has ever encountered were. The solipsism of victimhood.
Some MRA’s trot right behind feminist ideology like puppy dogs, creating this odd parody of feminism with the genders simply reversed. So, #AWALT, all women are like that, man the battle stations and seek our revenge. Retaliate against all future women and make them suffer for your perceived wounds of the past.
I actually prefer love to war, but whatever, people.
You know who pop culture feminists really hurt? Themselves and other women. You know who some MRA’s really hurt? Themselves and other men. It is not healthy to hold on so tightly to pride, to hatred, to bitterness and rage. It is not healthy to perceive yourself as being at war with the other half of the human race. It is not good for you spiritually, physically, or emotionally. It is not healthy to believe there is something to be “won” there. Instead, people just become the monsters they once tried to fight, the justification for the other side of the coin’s entire ideology. You simply confirm the biases of your perceived “enemy” and justify all their hyperbole.
There is another way, literally once called The Way. It really does require us to practice some humility, rather than just showing pride and endless outrage, but there is genuine victory and triumph to be found there. And love! Love for your own self and others. The problem with pride is that it often masks shame and shame will wall you off from love like nothing else can.
If you never learn how to set down that bag of rocks you will never be free.