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America, anti-feminism, culture, equality, feminism, opinion, patriarchy
Not really directing this towards anyone specifically, there are many, many articles written by so called feminist men. This particular post was just a classic example of what I speak of, “Why it is necessary to challenge parodies of feminism.”
When I first started speaking out against feminism, what I was not prepared for was so much outright hostility from men. That caught me unaware and surprised me. Also, allow me to play the girl card here, but it was also flippin scary, terrifying actually. Kind of blows all my arguments against male privilege and oppression when “feminist men,” start trying to silence you. That is a parody of feminism right there. There’s nothing quite like having men shrieking at you about male privilege and doing their darndest to prove it’s a real thing in the world.
I hardly know where to start on this post, so I’ll just highlight some of the words being spoken over women, “male privilege, you can’t make a proper fist, way down in the pecking order, slut shaming, she is bossy, women are paid less than men, slavery, denied their very humanity, they are dirty, calloused and seemingly incapable of thought, they will be known as chattel, feminism seeks to right the wrongs of millennia…”
No! Just no. Stop it. That is not the world I walk in nor is it how I define myself. I do not “voluntarily surrender (briefly) that (male) privilege when I don those heels, skirts and bras.” That is just a total parody of womanhood itself. I surrender nothing! I am not chattel, a slave, denied my humanity, I actually enjoy a rather privileged status. Men open doors for me, they stop by to put a light bulb in my car, they help me carry groceries, they drop some encouraging words on me. In the context of marriage, there is a great deal of protection and provision. I am not “chattel,” it is a bit more like being a princess. Yes, a princess! The never ending slam on Disney movies did not go unnoticed.
Women have immeasurable value in the biological equation, we produce the children, we look out for hearth and home. We encourage and support men, we provide intimacy and companionship. This is hardwired into who we are, reflected in the natural world around us. Men protect and provide, they enable women to be women, they make it possible for children to grow and prosper.
Feminism seeks to not just erase the masculine, but the feminine as well. It is a rather appalling deception because it teaches women that they don’t walk in the world confidently, as a being having worth and value, as someone who can enjoy the love and protection of men, but rather as an oppressed creature having second class status, a slave, a hated and feared creature, a bit of prey just awaiting the hoards of barbarians and rapists.
Perhaps that is how men who don heels, skirts, and bras feel when they walk in the world of men, perhaps they become acutely aware of the sexual dominance at play there, but that is a distortion, a projection. What many feminist men call “sexual dominance,” and sneer at as if it is a very bad thing, an oppressive thing, is not how most women perceive it at all. It says far more about how feminist men feel about their own selves than how women feel about men in general.
Feminism teaches women that they are prey and that men are predators. It creates a victim narrative that rivals that to be found in the worst of the world of patriarchy and misogyny. If you want to get technical about it, patriarchy itself has often been supported and nurtured by women themselves, as the keepers of culture. Patriarchy and many of the ideas therein are actually designed to protect and provide for women and children. Outside of the structure of culture and civilization, we do become prey, forced to compete in a world of might makes right, just as smaller, weaker competitors. We don’t fare so well under that system!
There is always going to be injustice in the world. There are always going to be yahoos that don’t play fair. But are women truly oppressed? Do we walk in the world as chattel, as prey? According to statistics, not so much. Men have far higher suicide rates than we do, far higher homicide rates, they die earlier, and they are far more likely to get themselves maimed and injured than women are. I’m reminded of an experiment on street harassment, a woman who roamed some city streets and bad neighborhoods for 10 hours seeking evidence of the harassment women face. It took her ten hours just to collect a couple of “hey baby’s!” When men walk the streets looking for trouble like that, they don’t fear harassment, they fear death.
“Oppression” is really a subjective thing, often based on our own personal projections and experiences. Sometimes it involves some confirmation bias, because what you seek, you do tend to find. But is it objectively accurate? Not so much.
I really resent many aspects of feminism, because what they seek, they are also compelled to destroy. Feminist men often speak of equality, but what they really mean, is that they wish to pull women towards what they perceive as dominant, as superior, and that no matter how enlightened they claim to be, it is actually going to be the very masculinity they are rejecting within their own selves.
If one is a man attempting to walk in the world as a woman, one’s perceptions of the world of men and women are going to be that of a man, attempting to perceive his own self through the eyes of women. As interesting as that is, it is still the subjective perceptions of a man and how he experiences his own self. Women rarely perceive men this way, we tend to seek their higher selves.
Not to be impolite here, but I rather enjoy being a girl and really wish that the feminists, the feminist men, the lesbians, the gays, the cross dressers, and the transgendered, would stop trying to define womanhood for every born woman on the planet. I do not wish to pull rank here, but when a woman herself is not even allowed to define what it means to be a woman, we have the strangest kind of male privilege going on, one that often seeks to project itself by force if necessary. Yeah, tolerance ain’t always so tolerant.
mnghostt said:
nice post
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you.
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Angela Wittman said:
Reblogged this on Christian Heritage News & Commentary.
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Cirsova said:
“I do not seek to silence this blogger, but I do want to take issue with his parodying of feminism.
We live in a patriarchal society. Male privilege is all around us and I believe I have some insight into this.”
Cannot tell if trolling or Poe’s Law in effect D:
4th wave feminism: a bunch of gross dudes telling a lot of women that they’re doing it wrong to impress a different handful of really mean and bitter women.
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insanitybytes22 said:
“a bunch of gross dudes telling a lot of women that they’re doing it wrong to impress a different handful of really mean and bitter women.”
That’s a very good observation. Yes, I think I see that at play myself.
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Cirsova said:
I dropped any half-hearted pretense at intellectual feminism when I realized that it required me to condemn women for doing it wrong. The cosplay paradox broke my mind like a cheap Star Trek AI:
“A man created female character X to be objectified and oggled… which is why people oggle women who cosplay them… but if character X contributes to rape culture by simply existing, does not a woman cosplaying as character X contribute to rape culture? …but women cannot contribute to rape culture because patriarchy… must mean woman cosplaying as character X is womaning wrong… beep beep error… ::head explodes::”
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! There’s such a lack of logic there it just lends itself well to having the dreaded blue smoke short circuiting out of your ears.
“Womaning wrong,” I like that. Yes, that’s it exactly. There you are all dressed up, rather enjoying yourself, and someone comes along and accuses you of womaning bad. Needless to say men also reap this whirlwind, and before you know it, we’re all rather miserable.
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Cirsova said:
The biggest irony of the whole “internalized misogyny” accusation that constantly gets thrown around is that I see more hate towards women from feminists (of both genders) than anyone else. I’ve seen a lot of actual sexism get passed off as ironic self-aware hipster sexism, but nothing quite approaching the hate that comes from someone who genuinely thinks that a woman is doing something that would imply that she’s “not down for the struggle”.
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Angela Wittman said:
Good commentary! I like being a woman and having gentlemen treat me like a lady, too. In fact, treating me like a lady by opening doors, etc. is what attracted me to my husband, and after 30+ years of marriage, he still opens doors for me. 🙂
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insanitybytes22 said:
Oh, amen! I rather like being treated like a lady, too. Congratulations on 30 years! I’m right behind you there and quite grateful to have been blessed with such a good hubby. Thank you for the reblog, much appreciated.
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Souldiergirl said:
Umm…are you aware of the fact that women are still under paid? Constantly harassed? Not all women want to be stay at home “princesses”- I certainly don’t live in Disneyland- when you have to be in the real world it is important that there should be things like equal pay in action and there isn’t.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Um, are you aware I also live in the real world?
Equal pay is actually not quite the simple issue people portray it to be. Often women are paid far better than men when they work in higher positions. One reason we tend to earn less is because we are often drawn towards jobs that pay less. We also tend to take more time off to have families.
Often when you scratch beneath the surface of those victims memes, you find little or no substance there.
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Souldiergirl said:
Where is your research coming from?
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insanitybytes22 said:
There are numerous studies and research that dispel many myths about this meme. Here is an article that highlights some of the points I made, women tend to seek lower paying jobs, women tend to take off time for families. When women are educated and working in higher fields they tend to get paid the same, if not more than men. We have also had equal pay for equal work laws on the books since 1963.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/2012/04/16/its-time-that-we-end-the-equal-pay-myth/
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Michelle Styles said:
We also tend to not speak up as forcefully for ourselves in job negotiation. I was given 40k a year for a job that was advertised at 48k/year I made a counter offer and got 40k/year plus 20k personal bonus based on x and y achievements. My wife got 3 weeks vacation from the start because she negotiated. Some of our “problems” like lower pay are our own faults.
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Souldiergirl said:
Ignorance is bliss.
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Souldiergirl said:
I apologize if I came off rude- I was just rear ended at my kids school and hadn’t had my coffee yet. The end of the day I believe in love and standing together. I spent three semesters with feminist professors- everyone has their side and points. it’s a really hot topic. You’re a great writer and I don’t want to take away from that point! I also appreciate other views as I can get into stubborn mode- so thank you.
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thetruthisstrangerthanfiction said:
and still, this is one of those finer points where I must remain sided with the disagreers. The thing about higher end white-collar jobs, is that like someone already mentioned, so much of what goes into the salary offered a person upon joining a company is incredibly arbitrary, relying a great deal upon “negotiation”, which in turn often has as much to do with an applicant’s ability to demonstrate “compatibility” and build rapport with the boss, and if said boss is at all one of the “good ol’ boys club” types, then gee, who do you think typically fares better in that scenario, the guy who can talk about what went wrong in the last Superbowl, or the woman who maybe just doesn’t care…?
I realize that’s an example full of stereotypes, but I still think your responses to the “equal pay for equal work” issue rely just as much on them. In fact, it seems like most of your responses essentially aim to reframe the question every time. The premise of the issue IS after all, “equal pay for equal work, isn’t it? Yet every time you bring up woman tending to take off more time for having kids, etc. Well that isn’t “equal work” then is it?
I very much realize that you DO live in the “real world” IB, but have you personally worked in circles of “higher positions”…?
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insanitybytes22 said:
To tell you the truth, truth, I have fared far better in the work world under the good old boy system, then under a more so called enlightened approach. Some of my worst jobs have actually involved working for women, women who tend to have an entirely different concept of “fairness,” that is often even more exploitative.
The fact of the matter is that we have had equal pay for equal work laws on the books since 1963. If one believes they are being unjustly paid less for the same work, than file a claim. Instead we drag this out into the realm of political memes, as if the culture is guilty as charged and your job is now to prove it isn’t so. Also, we force every single woman to walk in a world were they must perceive they have less monetary value and men must feel bad about it. But is it true??? If it is, take responsibility and file a complaint! It is not true for the vast majority of women or men and to force that perception onto others is just not right.
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thetruthisstrangerthanfiction said:
eh…. ok. I do very much understand what you mean, (and overall I do have to confess I recognize the irony here, very much sounding like the sort of “male feminist” your post is talking about..) But I think you know that I am no way propelled by “academic feminism”, which I basically despise, but can only speak from the perspective of having a wife who has worked in the business world for some time now. And yes, some of her worst, most completely psycho bosses have been women too, who sometimes go so far beyond their professional role and somehow wind up expecting to be viewed as some kind of mentor/guru about everything to do with “womanhood”, instead of just getting the job done, and it’s just insanity. But anyhow, yes, there are laws on the books, and you can “file a claim”, but even there, the reality of it all is not the same as the hypothetical, because once again, as a woman, if a singular carefully-worded email to your boss can come across as if you’re threatening to, or thinking about, filing a claim, or worse, a lawsuit, and then you just might find yourself out the door a few months later for an “unrelated reason”… (speaking from experience there…)
I guess my whole beef is probably more with the fact that the “academic feminists” (women who filled their heads with a bunch of ideas from college courses and feminist writers, rather than direct experience in the actual workplace) using the “equal pay for equal work” as a piece of their broader activist agenda, and then also I suppose that you then in your buttressing against that agenda wind up pushing against it in a context that is quite foreign to me. It has nothing to do with “feeling bad” about being perceived as having less monetary value than men, for us. It simply has to do with paying our bills!
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mommyx4boys said:
Every woman that works with my husband makes more money than he does, even though he is way more experienced and does much more dangerous tasks than they do. Men are also constantly harassed they just dont report it as often because they would get ridiculed for having a problem with it.
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LindaGHill said:
Can I say I love you for this post? This is fantastic. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you 😉
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LindaGHill said:
Reblogged this on lindaghill and commented:
I must say I agree with this wholeheartedly. Thanks, IB, for the excellent read.
Note: Comments turned off here. Please comment on the original post.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog, very kind.
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Michelle Styles said:
This among with many reasons is why I’m not a feminist.
https://aghostdancer.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/why-i-am-not-a-feminist-i-am-a-freedom-fighter/
Today’s feminist is not about equality or the ethical treatment of women or woman’s suffrage in the world. They are about bashing men and stripping women of our own feminine identity. look how quickly they attack any mother who chooses to stay home with her kids. I think motherhood is our single most important role as a woman. Raising the next generation and instilling morals. Look at society today now that women aren’t doing this important job.It’s a mess out there.
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Purpleanais said:
It is often those campaigning and screaming for tolerance who are the most intolerant themselves – I have noticed that time and time again.
Good post 🙂
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mommyx4boys said:
excellent post dear, I absolutely love it and agree with everything you said.
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mommyx4boys said:
Reblogged this on trying to make things right and commented:
What a great post
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garym6059 said:
Thank god common sense still prevails with the majority of men and women. Nice post!
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zgypsy said:
“Not to be impolite here, but I rather enjoy being a girl and really wish that the feminists, the feminist men, the lesbians, the gays, the cross dressers, and the transgendered, would stop trying to define womanhood for every born woman on the planet.”
Womanhood has been under attack for decades. What so astounds me is that if being created a woman is so bad then why are all these people struggling to emulate them? To get in touch with their “feminine” side?
You know you’re on the right side when everyone fights to change you and keep you down while simultaneously striving to be just like you.
You’re correct, Ms. Bytes…There is power in being a girl.😀
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Paul said:
Well, well, well – three holes in the ground. 😀 Excellent post IB – very big ideas. Not bad for a woman. Bwahahaha! I agree 100%. As usual you’ve touched on elementary defining forces that describe everything from calculus to rap music. In integral calculus, there are often two correct solutions ( or more) to any equation. Mathematics will give all possible answers as equals in probability, where as in life, quite often of the multiple answers, one heads in the direction of totality (read God) and the other leads towards the physical or Darwinistic world. The perspective is absolutely in the eyes of the beholder. And we stand at the junction of the two. This plays well into the concepts of God that you brought up in the last post. Because God is all, he can be seen as putting up the “No Trespassing” signs we discussed. That leads in the direction of the physical world. Or He can be seen as opening up all of totality – that, obviously, leads in His direction, Or, as I often think of it – No Trespassing is exclusive and convergent (leading to an end – often the perspective of religions) and God is inclusive and divergent – leading to growth and totality.
And so it is with feminism. To address any injustices there has to be a division made that assigns power to one side and victim to the other. This is exclusive and convergent thinking – but necessary for purposes of identification of the need for change. However, that same recognition of power imbalances can also be used to celebrate differences and honor diversity. This is inclusive and divergent thinking. This, by the way, is precisely the issue that I have with rap music. There are grave injustices in this world and it is important that they be recognized and pointed out.That being said it is one thing to say: “Look, there is a pile of sh*t under the table, that everyone is deliberately ignoring.” and saying: ” Lets take this here sh*t and spread t all over the walls.” One is divergent and inclusive(let’s recognize reality) and one is convergent and exclusive(we’re victims and you are all predators). The problem for me is that so much rap is spreading sh*t on the walls – and millions is made by doing that (don’t we all love to feel like victims?). There are a few exceptions to this – like Eminem – who use rap as divergent and inclusive.
And every time we experience, judge and choose, we draw these distinctions. This is a common theme in the construction of the universe. In business strategy, there is a area of study called a Greiner chart ( http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_87.htmm). This describes the growth of a company from a start-up to a conglomerate. The company goes through various stages and in each stage, the very factor that allows them to proceed and succeed forces a crisis as they advance. So, a start up begins with leadership – a sort of grain that allows and encourages growth around a center person (an acknowledgement of differentiation). As the company grows, it will reach a point at which it can no longer be centrally controlled and leadership has to be shared – which involves trust and faith and basically the deconstruction of management and the installation of a more shared style of decision making. And so it is with addressing the inequalities of genders. It is important to recognize the differences – then, once that is done, it is equally important to turn 180 degrees and look forwards to celebrate the differences. That which is critical in the beginning will destroy any value if not made inclusive and divergent.
All that to say that I agree whole heartedly with you IB. .
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Prajakta said:
Stupendous! Changed my perspective…
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MishaBurnett said:
I do not consider myself a feminist because I think that men who call themselves feminists are being condescending. It looks to me like men are telling women, “You have my permission to be your own person.”
I don’t think you need my permission.
In my experience women who call themselves feminists often have different definitions of that term, and so I try not to make assumptions regarding what any particular woman means by it unless she tells me.
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Eric said:
Some real women on the subject:
http://men-factor.blogspot.com/2015/02/some-really-good-looking-ladies.html
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violetwisp said:
Well I agree with your title at least. The rest of your post is just pandering to the childish notion that women and men fit into neat little boxes of easily defined behaviour. You want to act like a Disney princess and be treated like a submissive weakling. Fair enough. Loads of women like myself find that idea repugnant. So while you may not want others to define what it is to be female for you, I shudder at the thought of people like you using your pink broad brush to attempt to include me. Why don’t we just settle on accepting that the world is a diverse place and neither of us would do anyone justice by trying to tell them how to behave based on their genitalia?
Apart from that, feminism is simply seeking to ensure women have the same opportunities as men in areas like employment. You may be personally aware of individual cases where women earn more than men, but in general, it has been proven time and again that men earn more than women for similar or equal roles. I don’t know why you want to fight the facts, you have nothing to gain.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I’m terribly disappointed, Violet. I thought we had already covered the entire fallacy of a “submissive weakling” with a “pink broad brush.” 😉
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Tricia said:
@ Violet….can you point out for me where IB is saying she wants to act like a Disney princess and be treated like a submissive weakling? I don’t see that anywhere in her post so maybe you can help me find it.
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siriusbizinus said:
I just came across this today. Here is the quote from the post supporting Violet’s assertion:
“I surrender nothing! I am not chattel, a slave, denied my humanity[;] I actually enjoy a rather privileged status. Men open doors for me, they stop by to put a light bulb in my car, they help me carry groceries, they drop some encouraging words on me. In the context of marriage, there is a great deal of protection and provision. I am not [‘]chattel[;’] it is a bit more like being a princess. Yes, a princess! The never ending slam on Disney movies did not go unnoticed.
Women have immeasurable value in the biological equation, we produce the children, we look out for hearth and home. We encourage and support men, we provide intimacy and companionship.”
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Tricia said:
Well I hope you don’t think I’m stalking your blog because I’ve been making a lot of comments lately, but your word speak so much much to me I just can’t help it! 😉 You are serving a greater purpose with these posts by the way but I think you know that.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I love your comments. It’s reassuring knowing that there are other people in the world looking at these issues, too. And in spite of being a “submissive weakling,” Ha! I really am all about the genuine empowerment of women, power and strength within, not power over others 😉
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Tricia said:
I think that’s what’s cool about the WP community is we find a lot of similar voices that reassure us we are not some lone voice shouting in the wind about this stuff. That submissive weakling phrase was hilarious as it’s pretty much the least likely words I’d use to describe you!
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Tricia said:
Reblogged this on Freedom Through Empowerment and commented:
“Feminism teaches women that they are prey and that men are predators. It creates a victim narrative that rivals that to be found in the worst of the world of patriarchy and misogyny. ”
Yes and yes! What a great bookend from my previous post, thanks IB. Please reserve any comments for this re blog on the author’s site.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog, much appreciated.
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Belladonna Took said:
“Feminism teaches women that they are prey and that men are predators. It creates a victim narrative…” You know, I simply cannot agree with this. I find a lot to agree with in the rest of your post, and I will follow you because I think you have an interesting take on things. Maybe it’s just that I haven’t bothered to spend a whole lot of time reading “feminist literature”, studying the philosophy or keeping track of the politics.
I agree that SOME feminists are prone to victimspeak, and appear really to hate men. I consider myself a feminist, however, as part of an overall belief that all human beings have equal value. I won’t tolerate being treated as or thought of as a victim based on my gender or anything else. Have I sometimes been victimised or objectified? Sure I have – by sexist men and dishonest mechanics, mainly. But that doesn’t define me! Those people, with THEIR lack of imagination and their feeble understanding of how to interact with someone with breasts DO NOT DEFINE ME. Also, suggesting that only such people – and ones with gonads, to boot – have the ability to victimise or objectify people is nonsense. Aggressive feminists can be horrible bullies, and show no mercy to women who don’t share their worldview. But, again, aggressive feminists are at the fringe – they don’t define feminism any more than Moslem Jihadists define Islam, or the moral majority defines Christianity.
Feminism, as I understand it, is about personal value. I am a feminist because I believe women should be paid on the same scale as men for equivalent work. I believe girls should learn to hammer nails and change the oil in a car, and that boys should know how to cook and sew on a button … and when they grow up, they should be free to structure their lives according to their personal tastes and talents. I believe that if a penis turns you on and you enjoy the sensation of penetration, that’s a GOOD thing – and if you prefer not to be penetrated, and you get turned on by vaginas and breasts, that’s a good thing too – and, most importantly in this context, I believe that what you like and what you do with your and your partner’s body is none of my damn business. It doesn’t define you, outside of the bedroom.
Am I really that out of touch with core feminist beliefs? I find that a depressing thought… 😦
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Michelle Styles said:
When feminism started and was needed women could not vote. They didn’t have the same equal rights and protections as a man. It started out to right that wrong and make women equal to men. It has been used however in more recent times to claim rights (like birth control), force extra rights (Like affirmative action) and punish men (like sexual harassment).
First birth control is not a right.
Second I want equality not superiority. Why should anyone get incentives in the form of tax breaks to hire me simply because I am a woman.
Third an example. If I tell a guy that shirt brings out your eyes they are very handsome he walks away excited for the compliment. Even if he went to HR they will pretty much laugh at him. But if he did the same feminists say run to HR and then they tell HR punish the evil man.
Not equality.
Today’s feminists have lost sight of true woman’s issues. Why? Because they aren’t local perhaps. But I feel it’s because feminists after winning here didn’t know what to do with the new power. They turned it on men. Why? probably because they saw men as the cause of the problem in the first place. That was a wrong assumption of course.
now feminists are about their own power and belittling men. They have a seat of power and could do good for women in other nations suffering inequality. Instead they prefer to be a tool for political purposes.
Now I am talking about the leadership of feminists today and not the average woman who calls herself a feminist. Though some of them are loopy too but I digress.
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Belladonna Took said:
Thanks for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. And yes, I agree with you. First, birth control is not a right … although I would argue that providing it is a “community good”. To backstep a bit, I’ve heard people argue that “health care is a right”, which is patently bullshit, because where does it end? Does everyone have a right to a heart transplant? When did it become anyone’s right simply not to die or suffer, ever? On the other hand, improving baseline health benefits the greater community, so I would agree that – as far as a nation or community has the means to support it – basic healthcare should be provided, and I would include birth control in that because if people can’t afford to pay for the Pill they sure as hell can’t afford to have a kid! But I don’t see that as specific to women … The idea that “women’s health” should get some kind of priority is abhorrent to me. If breast exams are considered basic healthcare to be provided for all, then so should prostate exams be included.
“I want equality not superiority” – YES, I agree! And also, I don’t think someone should get a special prize for hiring me because I am as good at what I do as any man, and I am not a victim!
And the whole issue of sexual harassment just makes me roll my eyes. Wrapping my mind around harassment regulations was one of the hardest things I had to do when I moved to this country!
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Michelle Styles said:
Thanks I agree we could and probably should provide birth control to those who can’t afford it if they want it. But it is not a right.. 🙂
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Belladonna Took said:
“Right” is one of those horribly overused words, in my opinion…:)
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Tricia said:
Hi Belladonna, nice to see you here! 🙂 I have no problem with feminists who truly want to empower women and promote productive ways to do that, but here in the U.S. it’s morphed in to a political movement of the hard left. As Michelle said the group’s primary objective seems to be about tearing men down and in fact getting rid of gender differences all together, which is ridiculously disempowering to women and the special traits we bring to the table. The modern feminist movement also entices women to fall for a strong victim mentality and quite often put forth false statistics on pay levels, rape rates and such which in my view many of them know to be false but since all about “the cause” it doesn’t matter.
It’s not the every day people who label themselves as feminists that I think are the problem but the group leadership for sure. I think we can do better!
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Belladonna Took said:
I absolutely agree! But I don’t think we should be too quick to let the lunatics hijack the feminist brand. Rather, I prefer to stand firm by my right (a) to call myself a feminist, based on the values I described in my original comment; and (b) to resist anyone who tries to stuff me into a box that I don’t want to be in.
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Tricia said:
Fair enough BT and I agree too we shouldn’t let lunatics hijack the name which is why I enjoy seeing people post on this kind of stuff so others know there ARE other narratives about it. It’s always good too to not let anyone stuff you in a box like you said! 😉
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JunkChuck said:
I approach this from the perspective of a father with two intellectual, athletic, attractive and high-achieving daughters who have both exceeded my expectations (not to mention my example) by a considerable margin. I’m a college-educated semi-pro writer and part-time self-employed manual laborer with thick, scarred hands, a beat-up truck. My conservative friends think I’m a Marxist asshole, and my liberal friends think I just may be the devil, which is fine because I could kick all their asses, save one, if I didn’t love them and quietly enjoy the shit they give me for being “sort of aggressive and loud”
I also consider myself a club-wielding feminist. Does that mean that I don’t open doors and take coasts and all that business? Of course I do. Does that mean I don’t complement a woman who has clearly made an effort to look nice? Hell no–women love that shit, and I love women–I love them on principle, but it’s practical too. I went to seed earlier than most worn-out high school jocks, but I always had hot girlfriends and my wife is smoking. Why was I so lucky? Because I’m nice–despite being just a little bit of a macho ass–and I’m respectful.
I don’t want women to be men, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean I’ve been castrated because I think women deserve a fair and equal playing field, because they shouldn’t have to deal with ass-pinching and getting skipped from promotions because they might get pregnant. If a woman wants to fight in a war, then Dog bless ’em–some of the fiercest people I ever knew were girls I coached in AAU basketball. Put a few hundred of them together in an armored division and they’d have those ISIL bastards in hand faster than you can say Equal Rights Amendment. I encouraged my wife to keep her own last name because that’s who she is–why should be carry the name of my father and his father before him? It’s a stupid tradition, and reflective of the kind of anachronistic patriarchal bullshit that isn’t even worth my attention. As for telling a woman who she wants to be–living with a woman is like Tennyson wrote, except maybe substitute the dying part for tearing apart an old carburetor from that lawn tractor that won’t start.
Was there a man dismay’d ?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Some one had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die…
I don’t care if a woman wants to look or act like a frou-frou prom princess or Peppermint Patty–you’re right about that, it’s not my place to define what a woman is–but I’ve taught my daughters two family rules.
1) Never take sides against your sister in public–fight like hell at home, but it’s a unified front in the street, and
2) Regardless, do not under any circumstances take any shit from anyone.
And that’s what feminism is to me—the acceptance that ball-breakers and barbie dolls, spinsters and party girls, geeks and cheerleaders, and everyone in between, all get to define their femininity by their own standards.
…a little longer than I intended; and folks wonder why I can’t keep up with my own blog.
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. Great comment.
I think regardless of ideology and political labels, simply liking women is good enough for me 😉
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rebeccaalene said:
I’ve been wanting to write a post asking if I’m a “bad ” woman because I like being a woman. Am I doing wrong for all woman kind because I enjoy being a lady. I like being admired by my man. I wear makeup, dress in dresses and curl my hair. I love mothering, cooking, sewing and taking care of my husband. Should I feel guilty for loving these things?
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Al said:
Feminism, and for that matter, liberalism, has it’s entire basis in guilt.They have refined this approach to an art form. Take a false premise, repeat it over and over until it becomes “gospel.”Then convince the masses that they should feel guilty for not railing against these falsehoods and they should relinquish their money and power to these so-called saviors who will right the wrongs. The masses soon become minions and on and on it goes. People that think for themselves are their only enemy and they must be dispatched by slander, character assassination and intimidation. Keep up the good fight, for the pendulum must certainly swing back to common sense and practical judgment someday.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Great observation. I sometimes say there seems to be religioisity within liberalism that is totally shame based, but lacking the familiar rituals and good music to be found within a church 😉
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toomajj said:
Thanks again. I just like to add an observation which always surprised me. I worked for 8 years as a TV journalist in Washington DC, a metropolitan area. Not only did women have a higher pay on average, there were more women in higher management than regular staff. Almost all of these women were wholehearted, or at least halfhearted, educated feminists. Here is the surprising fact: What I saw in those 8 years was that 90% of the times it was women who screwed women; they created the worst gossips against one another, had other women fired, ruined their reputations and careers over stupid jealousies, complemented in their face and insulted behind their backs, etc. And I am speaking of over a 100 women in the division I worked. And also the women who became managers sucked at their jobs because they’re too hostile to other women while more open to men!! This of course is not about gender at all but about a stupid attitude of paranoia and victimhood superimposed on gender.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yes, I believe you! I have seen that same kind of thing myself. I am still plucking knives out of my back 😉
The office politics, the melodrama, the competitiveness of women can take your breath away sometimes. I don’t believe that is really natural to us, I suspect it is mostly learned behavior, a cultural distortion. I’ve worked in other settings where there is lovely cooperative effort.
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toomajj said:
You’re absolutely right. I have seen too many women who are not like that, including my own mother. And I have seen also too many men involved in the same kind of office politics. My observation was surprising because I saw more back-stabbing among women who considered themselves educated and feminists rather than other women who are just themselves practicing their human dignity by nature instead of being forced by synthetic ideologies of modern age such as feminism, scientism, etc.
I was once a feminist man; then I realized it’s really none of my business as long as I don’t hurt my woman.
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RejZoR said:
That’s why I could never understand men who identify themselves as feminists and the reason why I don’t identify myself as feminist. Feminism is a women’s thing and if they fight for their rights, I (as a man) feel a bit uncomfortable standing among them telling other women and men how to think, what to think and how to support feminism and women. It kinda feels… still looking for a word… aaah yes, hypocritical. It also makes women look weak if there always has to be a man doing something for them. Women are smart enough, they can make changes themselves. They don’t need men among their “ranks”.
Sure we can support them openly where support is needed, but they really don’t need us marching around defending feminism for them, under their label.
Besides, in a current state of feminism which is very hostile towards men and being a part of it as a man is absolutely retarded thing to do if you ask me. By doing that you’re basically saying “I hate being a man”. Sorry, I love women, I respect them and I want them to have the same rights as I have, but I still have some of my decency and respect for my (male) gender.
You don’t need to be a feminist to support women and to defend their rights. That’s why I prefer labeling myself as egalitarian. Because under this label I feel comfortable talking about how to get things equal and how to improve rights of women AND men without being a nasty hypocrite.
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Jack Curtis said:
Seems you rattled a few cages …
Femininity and masculinity are defined for us (not by us) by biology; the various “ism’s” are but politicized prostitutions assembled to sell scams. (A preci’s of your statement …)
Hence the defensive outrage from self-righteous male feminist scammers. You are the little girl pointing to the Empress’s lack of new clothes …
Watch out for drones overhead …
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