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I have to laugh and blow off some steam here. That is such an oxymoron, “cranky Buddhists,” that it is hard to even wrap my brain around. They do exist however, I have met them.
In the West Buddhism can be very cool, like a label one tries to wear, more as evidence of having rejected organized religion and the idea of God entirely, a kind of status symbol. As my cranky Buddhists like to tell me, BUDDHISM IS A PHILOSOPHY, NOT A DELUSIONAL RELIGION LIKE CHRISTIANITY AND ISLAM! Yes, yelling in all caps like that. Nothing says inner peace and potential enlightenment better than shrieking about the place and endlessly bemoaning the foolishness of all the other humans.
I cannot say a word of course, but I very much want to ask if they should not perhaps meditate, do some yoga, maybe rake their zen garden and calm down? DO NOT TOUCH THE ZEN GARDEN! IT IS THERE TO REMIND US OF OUR IMPERMANENCE! Yes, okay, but is impermanence not somehow related to change? Will the entire fabric of the universe really be rent if the little zen garden gets disturbed? Besides I am only dusting here people, and as much as I like the idea, I doubt I can rip a hole in the space-time continuum. They seem concerned I might, however.
I truly envy the monk like existence, the fine art on the walls, but a room devoid of all else, no clutter, no knick knacks, just a yoga mat and the calm, serene decor, free of worldly distractions. Rather than inner peace however, it just screams out obsessive control to me. I envy it for that very reason, I should like nothing better than to live in the midst of pristine order, free from the chaos and confusion of the world. Should I ever tire of such sterility, I am free to simply rake my little zen garden in a different direction entirely, to live dangerously perhaps and comb in a few squiggly lines.
See, there's this thing called biology... 
Lol!! Yes, those zen gardens really are such an OCD thing! How long would your inner zen hold together if I let my kids play in your little gravel plot I wonder..? 🙂
Personally, for years I really did dream of having a cool inner courtyard area type of thing, complete with bonsai trees and a koi pond etc., but today I’ve had to learn to find my chill zone amid broken patio furniture and unpicked up toys. You gotta learn to embrace the “chaos” to a degree, because the truth is there are a lot of squiggly lines in the pebbles of life that you just can’t rake out, and a lot of the time, that’s ok…
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Truth
I would make a lousy Buddhist, as I live for chaos. In fact, if things get too Zen like, I feel almost compelled to create disorder. My wife tells me no one can escalate like me. But, The Lord’s working real hard on that issue. Embrace the chaos? I am the chaos!
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Ha. yeah, my wife would be the first to tell you that I’m pretty gifted at personifyinh chaos too, but I’m working on it as well.
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LOL! I think I may well be the chaos, too.
What’s somewhat funny there, is one thing women often appreciate about husbands is they way they can bring order to our chaos. Yes, I know men are often chaos personified themselves, but still, it’s a different kind of disorder 😉
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IB you actually hit something really important there. Despite my personal chaos, I also have the ability to stamp it out and bring order, and as you said, that is sometimes very valuable to my wife. Odd..and I don’t really understand how the two things can exist at the same time.
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There is just a very complimentary nature between the genders, Wally. Nobody really likes that word, but it’s true. We were actually designed for each other, so yes, even the most chaotic husbands can bring about a calm and peace of mind that is very valuable and often much appreciated 😉
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Well that makes sense. But yeah nobody wants to hear that We all have to be the same or somebody is losing out. Truth is when we embrace the differences we all win.
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Amen, Wally.
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Ya, I can relate. I moved into an apt in the southwest desert that was totally bare except for a few weeds. I removed the weeds and tried to fake a zen garden in the gravel, but someone, keeps throwing cigarette butts in it, apparently thinking it’s one of those gravel filled ashtrays.
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That was so funny! I enjoy turning people against becoming Buddhists by telling them about the joys of the sky burial. That usually does the trick. 🙂
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LOL! I had forgotten about that. Apparently that is falling out of favor due to the decimation of the vulture population.
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Ha-ha—you might not have realized this, but on the West Coast we actually talk about ‘the Angry Buddhist’.
It’s a character type seen from Seattle to San Diego. These people go to Yoga, talk endlessly about their ‘ higher spirituality’ but are continually in bad moods, angry and aggressive with everyone; lacking in any sense of humor and easily offended at anything.
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Eric you are so right. It seems to be more pronounced on the West coast but it is everywhere. Many are grim-faced nutters who take themselves too seriously. I think all that macrobiotic food, celibacy and asceticism puts them in a sour mood !
Maybe ringing the gongs does something to their brains.
I wrote a poem about it once: https://connecthook.wordpress.com/mine/religions/the-jewel-in-the-center-of-the-lotus-eaters-2/
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LOL—You know exactly the type I’m talking about. Not only are they in perpetually bad moods, but they have an overt contempt for anyone not as ‘enlightened’ as they are.
What’s funny too is that invariably these types are involved in some kind of ‘community service.’ You can spot them easily because they act like they resent doing it and consider the ‘community’ they serve as their inferiors.
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Ooh – you nailed it and hit it out of the park at the same time. Time for my brown rice with sustainably-harvested Tamari sauce now…
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Can’t say I know very many Buddhists in my area, but I enjoy a zen like space once in a while. Certainly don’t live in one, because I AM CHAOS in human form. Or maybe I’m the real personified “Pig Pen” made famous by Charles Shultz, with a dust cloud following me around. Seconds after a thorough cleaning my apartment looks like it hasn’t been touched in centuries. The best solution would be to clear everything out and live in a Zen like area, spending my days raking my zen garden, eating only zen food without crumbs. The crumbs are my downfall. but if they fell in my zen gravel, then my zen ants could feast on them in zen contentment.
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It’s funny but you have hit on something there…my friends in the afore-discussed hipsterville are just as you describe. Cranky, irritable, and short on humor. Buddist pop philosophy is certainly part of the underpinnings at least…Just try and suggest something may not turn out just as they want it to be and you’ll be sorry.
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No more western Buddhists, please –
I’ve had it up to here.
your grimly earnest souls aren’t saved
and half of you seem queer.
That lotus incense makes me sick.
It mingles with the fumes
of Subarus and passing schemes
in tofu-scented rooms.
Come off it, all you dilettantes;
your chanting is off-key.
The Zen is Sham; and God will damn
your choice to simply BE.
The books you offer all are full
of theravada shambala.
The Dalai WHAT? You babble on…
Ascetic sands you’re building on.
A bourgeois dalliance at best
this turning toward the Mystic East.
Those jasmine smells, and gongs, and bells,
proclaim a saffron beast.
By Trungpa Rin-Po’s holy yak –
you’ve swallowed sinker, line and hook.
(Along with way too much green tea
and words from some Buddhist book.)
…If you feel like it, read the rest of my poem here: http://tinyurl.com/jwmv7la
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Now ya did it ibytes; you have offended they who sweat in the wee hours of the morning so your peaceful coffee time may be enhanced with their doZen doughnuts…………………
I can see why the crops so fear thee 😉 But perhaps you should read ‘Zen and the art of what does the missing doughnut hole look like?’
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That’s too funny = angry Buddhists
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I recently read an article explaining why so many Jews become Buddhists. The bottom line was that Jews invented suffering but Buddhists explained it.
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Ha! Good one.
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Buddha statues are littered all over yards on the Central Coast of California. People use them as an outward sign to indicate how peaceful and harmonious they (the people) are…until such people open their mouths. Buddha would not approve. Cheers!
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Thanks for reminding me, though indirectly, that Buddhism is a philosophy. If a real Buddhist said that, it must be true. (I deliberately use the term ‘true’ here) That christians are delusional, I don’t believe anymore though. I have become to realize that in this universe good and evil are very real. However, Buddhists aren’t crazy also, and the universe forms to their philosophies too, in my experience. I learned the other day that the universe has seven dimensions, and they also are very real. 🙂
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