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You have to love the media, they inspire you to explore the space/time continuum and to exist in a state of suspended animation…or suspended disbelief. My local paper caught my attention this morning with this story about a house fire.

Firefighters were called at 4:51 a.m. and arrived on scene at 4:47 a.m…

Ah, the media vortex, where fireman can arrive four minutes before they are even star_trek_03_1024called. Some kind of transporter beam, perhaps? A crack in the fabric of the universe? Too bad they didn’t rewind a whole ten minutes, they could have arrived before the fire even started.

The media vortex of course, is not always so amusing. Frankly the state of journalism in this country has so often sent me into despair, I try to avoid it as much as possible. I’m not sure what disgraces the whole concept of journalism more, the redundancy or the sucking up? In the redundancy department we have this brilliant headline, “Abundant Evidence of Crimes Against Humanity in North Korea.” What?? When did that start?! I could of sworn North Korea was paradise on Earth with a thriving democracy and a booming economy. Thanks media, now you’ve gone and shattered my illusions.

obama-clownComing from the media WTH Department, we have “National Clown Shortage Approaching.” Good to know! That’s a serious concern of mine. Which clowns are we talking about here, the kind that hand out peanuts at the circus or the John Wayne Gacy kind? Tell you the truth, it doesn’t matter, this is 2014 and Stephan King’s “It” pretty much transformed the America psyche forever. We hate clowns, but hey, awesome Mr. President, to know there are still some jobs available in this country! Maybe you and some of our congresscritters would like to apply?

In the media Sucking up Department we have several sugary stories that leave the stench of funeral lilies on your tongue. “Obama Talks Healthcare and Hoops.”   Thank you Mr. President, for playing basketball to reassure me about healthcare. Thank you also for your 161rst round of golf yesterday. Thank you for “stimulating” the economy, for lowering those sea levels, and for making a mockery of journalism in this country. We couldn’t have done it without you.

***Repost from 2.18.14