This is in response to a humourous blog post OM did a while back, called Women are Crazy. We are, we are nuts! I say that rather shamelessly, in fact, I rather enjoy the craziness of women.
My husband once muttered under his breath in exasperation, “wonderfully and fearfully made,” which caused me to snort coffee out of my nose, which pretty much sucked all the wind out of my sails. It is nearly impossible to make a proper indignant and self-righteous declaration with coffee coming out of your nose. My husband never fights fair.
Women are not just crazy, we’re an entirely different species. Sometimes when I say this, it annoys people. The last time I said men are aliens I got four indignant comments. Gosh I’m sorry people, I’m not writing a peer-reviewed science paper here. If you think there is so much doubt that men and women are of the same species that you must correct the scientific record so people are not mislead, well you have just made my point for me. There appears to be some doubt that men and women are even living on the same planet.
This is wonderful news! Rejoice! It is the diversity and variation in our world that makes life so beautiful. I must admit, the differences between men and women are some of the most delightful ones available to us and really help to give life its flavor. It would be a bit sad if we were all truly the same.
So women can do just about anything, throw a javelin in the Olympics, learn to fight, go to war….. but not with the same skill and strength as men. That’s just biological truth. We’re usually smaller, a bit weaker, and our brains work differently. Sure we can haul firewood and patch a roof, I just like to believe that we have evolved to a higher level of intelligence and managed to convince men to do it for us. That may well be a slightly annoying fact of life, but it is what it is.
What smart woman, at least in the Western world, has ever needed to demand equality? “Hey, hand over that septic tank pumper, anything you can do I can do better and I’m going to prove it!” Call me stupid, but I prefer to bring the guy a cup of tea and pour words of encouragement over him. That’s my particular skill set and it’s a powerful one. Don’t knock it, not everyone can convince some guy to suck the poo out of a septic system and leave with a smile on his face, feeling as if he were privileged to have had the opportunity.
In all seriousness however, Men are Mars and Women are from Venus, a rather good book on communication, by the way. About 90% of our issues can be resolved if we simply accept that we are different species, different communication styles, different focus, different perceptions. We also have different needs. Learning to speak each other’s language is vitally important. So many problems arise from men looking at women and seeing only a slightly smaller version of themselves. Women can make ourselves absolutely miserable expecting men to be slightly larger versions of us. That is a misconception that can lead to a lot of craziness and misunderstandings. Why doesn’t he do these things this way?? Because he’s not female, he’s wonderfully and fearfully made in his own way, that’s why.
Equality is really a fool’s errand because it begins to demand sameness. Biological reality provides us some rather blatant evidence that there are some undeniable differences innate to who we are.
Those who fight for equality in the Western world are seldom fighting for human rights and fair treatment, they are often fighting for the right to emulate men. Hidden in there is a rather negative message, that implies that there is something innately wrong with being female, that we only have worth and value if we are doing male defined things in a male defined way. Rather than heading towards, “anything you can do I can do better,” it would be quite lovely if women would start to recognize that we have worth and value of our very own, just the way we are.
Also, not to be impolite, but I rather enjoy being a different species.