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Sometimes I am so starved for justice it just becomes a dull and hungry ache, a desperate longing to catch just a glimpse of the good guys winning and the bad guys reaping their just rewards, just once, and yet those moments so seldom come.

There’s some bits of scripture that speak of God hardening hearts, and sometimes I can feel the mercy even in that, the kindness behind shutting someone’s heart off to the reality of who and what they are, to the horror of the misery and the pain and the suffering they have inflicted on others, to the harm they have done in the world. Please Lord, don’t ever let them feel it all, because it would absolutely crush them. I have felt just a hint of the pain they have left behind for others, and it has nearly crushed me many times.

What is must be like to be you..

Often we walk in the world blissfully unaware of the wrong we do, of how we pass that off to others, how we make a mess of our own lives and then just walk away, oblivious to the fact that somebody else now has to come along behind you and clean up your wake of destruction. It is a crime all by itself to lay waste your own life, to never find your potential, to fail to ever catch a glimpse of who you were meant to be, but no one ever does that crime all alone, they always manage to snatch bits of collateral damage to take down with them. No man is an island.

It’s not just the havoc you wreck in the world, but also the dreams you shatter, dreams that haven’t even been dreamed yet, all the potential unrealized that you lay waste to, killing hope and draining the world of beauty.

“When I knew better, I did better,” but some do not even care about the knowing.  Oblivious, blissfully unaware. Harden their hearts, Lord because the moment they feel it all, they will annihilate their own selves in a horrific act of spontaneous combustion.

Sometimes I am accused of condemning people to hell but it isn’t true at all because I know some people are already there. We die as we live, we condemn our own selves or avail ourselves of salvation. It isn’t my choice at all, it is each of ours.

Perfect justice is assured and salvation is assured too, and forgiveness and mercy is available to all, it is not that which troubles me, but rather the making of amends. Peter do you Love me? Peter do you Love me? Peter do you love me? Three times He denied Christ and three times he got to make it right. That making amends, that opportunity to repair some of the damage you have done, to give back some good in equal measure, is such a critical part of the equation and so often forgotten.

Forgotten by the beautiful people who sometimes sit in fancy churches claiming to be saved.