Bit tongue in cheek here, but I have no idea! I think I married a rogue, possibly a pirate. I’ve always loved pirates so that would explain everything. I kid you not, the man is actually fond of old wine barrels and rum kegs, so if you look around my house, it certainly seems as if I’m married to a pirate. No complaints here, pirates are simply awesome.
So what is a gentleman? The old fashioned definition used to be a man of worth and value, of high social status, often of noble birth. So, if you read my previous posts, the old fashioned definition of a gentlemen would fit in well there. Women are naturally going to be attracted to men who perceive themselves as having high value and worth.
The problem comes from our ever evolving definition of gentleman, which has now come to be defined a bit more as service oriented, kind, gentle, having good manners, being courteous of others. That’s certainly an aspect of the character of gentlemen. Those are delightful qualities, something we’d like to see more of in the world, but somewhat forgotten seems to be that other part about having high social status and value.
Gentlemen were often from the upper classes and carried themselves accordingly. They knew who they were, they advertised their worth and value, and they walked in the world with a sense of entitlement. Now in real life many of them were probably complete jerks, but I’m speaking metaphorically here about the whole concept of being a gentleman.
In today’s world one need not be of noble birth or great wealth to perceive oneself as a gentleman. It is more about one’s character, attitude, and integrity, and the way one carries themselves and walks in the world. Sometimes forgotten in there however, is the value and high status that goes along with it.
There’s a lot of focus these days on wanting to change the nature of women, on the harm that feminism has done to relationships between men and women. Those things are all true, no doubt about it. And yet, if you read literature from the days of old, this struggle is nothing new. Relationships between men and women have never been easy. Look at Romeo and Juliet, a trail of dead bodies that eventually ends in suicide. That is so not the way love is supposed to be, but it usually does have aspects of a tragic comedy to it. Love is supposed to be challenging, it’s supposed to be a struggle, it’s supposed to teach you things about yourself. It’s not supposed to be easy.
I was not very friendly, kind, or gentle, when I met my pirate. Actually, my husband must have been a bit insane himself because at the time I was a fairly outspoken feminist who did not even really like men. What in the world he saw in me baffles me to this day. On the other hand, the simple act of pursuing me was a pretty good demonstration of thinking highly of yourself. It’s rather bold to believe yourself worthy of pursuing an insane woman who likes to throw tea cups at people.