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Expanding on the whole concept of love here, and taking that idea of how nice guys finish last out into a broader context, yes, yes they do. In romantic love that can often be corrected, assisted, by learning a few tricks about biology and the nature of relationships between men and women. It’s never going to be easy, but it can be less painful if you’re armed with some knowledge.

In the world at large however, that idea of how “nice guys finish last,” is not so easily fixed. And nice girls often finish last, too. That is a hard, cold truth about the world. If you’re “nice” chances are good you will frequently discover what it is like to always be a bridesmaid and never a bride. That theme of my sowing and somebody else reaping seems to just go on and on, endlessly in my life. I have a lovely marriage, healthy kids, lots of joy, but after that it starts to fall apart. Many times other people have gotten the job I wanted, the opportunity I wanted. Sometimes I’ve not only not gotten what I’ve worked so hard far, I haven’t even gotten what was owed to me in exchange for the work I did.

As if this is not unfair enough, often people far less skilled than I, have gotten what I was seeking. Then it gets even better, people who do everything wrong reap huge financial rewards, benefit from the death of a rich uncle they didn’t even know. Or, while cheating on their husband, they enter a casino and hit the jackpot. That last one was especially galling to my pride but a bit amusing, because I was like “Lord, that was so not fair!” No offense to that woman, but her entire life seems to be about exploiting somebody else and hitting the jackpot in the process.

I don’t know about anybody else, but my heart frequently cries out for some justice here. We are taught and that if you just work hard and put in the effort, you’ll reap the rewards. Really, here on Earth in modern times?? Because I sure don’t see it so much. I see people working harder than ever for half the reward. I see people rallying around the most broken, the most dysfunctional, and expecting those who have done everything right to try and take care of themselves, to foot the bill. Then if you make the slightest little fuss about how you’d like to eat too, people are quick to point out that you obviously just hate the less fortunate. I don’t hate them at all, I’m just a bit reluctant to suffer for all the consequences of their actions, actions I have no control over. It’s not that I don’t believe in a safety net, it’s just that we’re really starting to punish success and reward failure here, so putting in the effort starts to feel a bit stupid.

I really do commiserate with the idea that nice guys finish last, because that is frequently the state one finds themselves in. On the other hand if you ever need evidence that morality is not innate, not something we just evolved into, there it is. Millions of people go right on being nice guys in spite of the fact that it seldom reaps you any earthly harvest.